Sanji Tonight
by BluePinstripe
Summary: So okay, anything you want to ask the bad ass perv cook of One Piece, will be entertained here! Rules inside and make Sanji go 'Mellorine' till he dies, okay? Drop reviews please, thanks! Guys, Flamers, Fans welcome!
1. First Night: Introduction and Rules

Okay! Hello to everyone.

A new Ask Sanji column is remade, after 3 years of the Ask Sanji: Season Two which was discommisoned by my co-author. But now im riding solo, I can do whatever! Lets get it on...

**SANJI TONIGHT…**

**Sanji**: Hallo, hallo, and welcome to Sanji Tonight, new and REVAMPED version of the Ask Sanji: Season 2.

**Rusty: **and the author, yours truly, beside him.

**Sanji: **okay, so why are you here, this is **MY **show, and not guests allowed till I say SO.

**Rusty: ** Well, im here to watch over you, god knows what are you going to make this show into when im not here.

**Sanji: SO? **I can take care of myself!

**Rusty: **okay, you said so. Now im a permanent guest here. Thanks Sanji, I owe you one.

**Sanji: **…? HOW DARE YOU PULL ONE RIGHT OUTTA ME!

**Rusty: ***ignores* Well, of coure before going out and play, there's always RULES to be followed in order to play a game.

**Sanji: **HEY THIS IS MY SHOW, I MAKE TH—

**Rusty: **THE RULES… are stated below…

**ONE**) You can ask Sanji any questions. May it be problems, learning facts, secrets, etc. Just as long as they are SENSIBLE. Nonsense will not be tolerated. Mild randomness is okay, but going too over the line will have their messages to Sanji EXCLUDED.

**TWO**) You can sak Sanji MINIMUM of one question and a MAXIMUM of 25. Anything more than 25 will be EXCLUDED.

**THREE**) Cuss words and swearing is alright, but keep it to a minimum. After all this show is for the haters too, right?

**Sanji: **I hate it when your're bossy… sniff!

**Rusty: **that's about it. And Sanji, there are rules for you too…

**Sanji: WHATT?**

**Rusty: **Here…

**ONE**: NO FAVORITISM. Sure you like a lotta girls, but sticking to only one isn't fair for the others, so don't finger pick one and get away with it, YA HEAR?

**TWO**: REMEMBER THE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE. Respect the ladies. Don't be rude, ERONESS will not be tolerated. In some cases, this rule is sometimes not followed necessarily.

**Sanji: **huh?

**THREE**: THE MORE THEY HATE, THE MORE YOU SHOULD LOVE. HATERS of Sanji flamers, are very much welcome to the show. They have a right too. So Sanji, LOVE your haters as they HATE you.

**Sanji: **YOU'RE GETTING ON MY BUTTONS NOW… IMMA KILL YOU!

**Rusty: **Letter formats go in any style, may it be formal or informal. Just make sure its addressed to Sanji. If you have any questions for the author too, it'll be also entertained.

**Sanji: **Ok, boss, when can I start..? I CANT WAIIT!

**Rusty: **Just as soon as the readers leave a review, okay? So leave us a review and Sanji'll get right to it. Ja.

**Sanji: I CANT WAIT! GIRLLS! I LOVE YOUU!**

Being serious sure beats the hell outta me! So anyways guys, its clearly stated above what has to be followed, Sanji included. So drop a review, and I'll magically entertain it, okay? Criticisms welcome. –


	2. Second Night: Eight Hits

So okay, first night gave us 8 hits. Long ones even, so Folks, lets get on with the SHOW.

* * *

**Sanji Tonight**

**Sanji: **YOSH! NOW I GOT LETTERS FOR ME! HAHAAHA! Rusty… er with your permission…

**Rusty: **granted. BUT I want you pick one of the letter. That way, it'll be more exciting. Lets see… letters from.. Lolly Dream, Jason Southwell, sugerpie-chan, two from Takono, Bowlachessed, and two from Winged Devil Girl. So, your choice, and I'll just sit by here.

**Sanji: **Lets see… I pick… the one from Jason.

* * *

**Jason Southwell****  
**

**This is Alex speaking. Sanji, dude, what if you & Nami switched minds?**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **like, how switched minds? You mean my mind goes to her body or some creepy switching transformation stuff?

**Rusty: **the first.

**Sanji: **Oh… OOOHH! IF WE EVER DID… I WOULD LOOK AT MYSELF ALL DAY!

**Rusty: **Gods what an answer. Thanks Alex (or Jason..? oh right, penname…) Next pick.

**Sanji: **Sugerpie-Chyaan! KAWAII NAME!

* * *

**sugerpie-chan****  
**

**hey~**

**call me JC for short, okay?**

**- hey Sanji, who is your favourite between Nami, Robin and Vivi?**

**- what comes first: All blue or girls?**

**- can you speak french?**

**- how often do you smoke?**

**- If Luffy was a girl would you be attracted to him?...wait! don't answer that, I'll do it for you...of course you would. :P**

**that's all...for now, bye~**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **JC! THANK YOU FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL LETTER! I LURV YA! (spins) okay… whatta we got…

1) ALL OF THEM ARE MY FAVORITED!

2) All Blue! (along with the girls in the way… haha!)

3) Oui je peux, ma douce .. hehehe.

4) Probably 7 sticks a day… depending on my mood. If im stressed out, I can smoke 2-3 packs a day, if im OK, 7-a pack is fine.

5) Oh, yess…. If he was a girl… stretchy… ooh…

**Rusty: **OKAY, THANKS A LOT JC, LETS TREAD AWAY FROM THIS BEFORE HE THINKS OF SOMETHING…er… STRETCHY. Next.

**Sanji: **the two from Winged Devil Girl.

* * *

**Winged Devil Girl  
**

**Yo, blondie! it's Axel.**

**if i kicked you for no apparent reason where it hurts, what would you say first?**

**

* * *

**

**Winged Devil Girl  
**

**oh, i forgot to mention.**

**Roronoa-san is so much sexier than you! I dare you to try and prove me wrong!**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **Ulp!

**Rusty: **FIRST flamer, everyone! (applause)

**Sanji: **If you do that, Miss Axel, I would say… **#$%&! **A-Axel-chan… WHAT WAS THAT FOR?. AND WHAT'S WITH ZORO ANYWAY? IM HOTTER. HIM USING SWORDS ONLY MAKES HIM COOL, BUT FIGHTING UNARMED IS THE BEST, IT SHOWS HOW MEN ARE COURAGOUS AND SEXY WITH NO ARMNAMENTS! SURE HE MAYBE MACHO, BUT THIN IS IN, my dear! And what the hell is so HOT about a **GREEN MOP TOPPED HAIR? **Blondes are exsistent everywhere, GREEN HEADED MARIMO'S NEVER EXIST! Ahem… that enough proof? The conclusion of this: IM STILL HOTTER THAN ZORO! HARHAR! So, love me instead, Axel-Chan… pleasee?

**Rusty: **hoo boy, Sanji. Anyway, that's two letters from Axel, thanks! NEXT.

**Sanji: **the one from bowlacheesed.

* * *

**BowlaCheesed  
**

**Hiiiii Sanji-kuun~ :3 can i ask my cutie some questions? kay!**

**1. my boyfriend is SO much like you! youre the reason i picked him!**

**2. can you show us all more of your body than that ONE arabasta arc scene?**

**3. i like you. a lot. :3**

**talk to you later~!**

**-Mr. Kevin J. Chesterfield**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: THANK YOU FER YER LETTER,BOWLACHESSED!**

**Rusty: **Okay, get it on! We got no time!

**Sanji: **Okay… Sure you can! That's what this show is for!

1) Really? Sigh, I really influence the couples here in the real world… Aint I the best? AND ZORO CANT DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT, HE'S IN LOVE WITH HIS SWORDS, PERIOD.

2) Hmm… Its up to Oda-dono to think about that, but im very willing to!

3) Awwh… I like you too! I love my FANS!

Come again!

**Rusty: **Thanks Kev! Write again, okay? Next!

**Sanji: **the one from Lolly Dream!

* * *

**Lolly Dream**

**First let me just say I love this idea! It seems like so much fun and so creative! I'm so happy it was revived else I would have never found it being all new-ish to Fanfic and such. Under a year old that's still young… xD**

**Ok now my questions for Sanji-kun!**

***stares for a good ten minutes at the sexyness Sanji is***

***coughs blushing* Huh sorry about that! Ok first may I say Sanji-kun you're the best ever! From your wonderful stylish threads, to your delightful cooking, and your amazing kicks that shows just what truly awesomeness and power those astonishing sexy legs of yours can do, not even to mention your heartwarming noble sacrificing nature that leaves me so ever stunned. You truly are what a man should be!**

***blushes more and tries to control her screaming fangirl hormones* Ok on with the questions now!**

**1) Boxers or briefs? *smirks* or commando?**

**2) How is that sexual tension working out between you and Zoro that leads to so many fights?**

**3) What's your shoe size? Not that I want to know or anything if its true what they say about men with big feet *whistles innocently***

**4) What good tips can you give to keep people out of the kitchen when you're trying to cook?**

**5) Though it's super sexy why do you always have your hair hide your left eye?**

**6) How many cigarettes do you normally go through in a day?**

**7) Have you ever tried the nicotine patches? I worry about you Sanki-kun don't die from lung cancer! *hides her own pack of cigarettes***

**8) Once you find All Blue what do you plan to do with yourself then?**

**9) Are you a natural blonde and if so care to prove it? *wiggles brows***

**10) What's the weirdest thing you have seen Luffy stretch on himself?**

**11) Have you ever posed for any of Usopp's drawings?**

**12) Have you ever thought about putting knives on your shoes? You would be so wicked cool if you did that…not that you're not cool now but you would so leave Zoro in the dust if you did that!**

**13) Is Mr. Prince a real alter ego of yours or do you still have full control over yourself when you're claiming to be Mr. Prince?**

**14) If I sent you a pie would you eat it?**

**15) What were you feeling when Gin was straddled on top of you and started to cry?**

**16) Have you ever thought about being a hand model? ...then again I guess you could be a full one with your sexyness.**

**17) Is there any story as to why you're so scared of spiders? Don't feel bad they freak me out too.**

**18) I'm sorry I torture you so in my stories. You forgive me right? It's just cause I must have you as the star role in them all cause I love you so!**

**19) What's your favorite flavor?**

**20) What's the real scoop on what happened with you and Ace in the desert? I herd it was some pretty *coughs* HOT times.**

**21) Do you have a hand or foot fetish?**

**22) You have such a sexy body why don't you show it off more? Though the suits are still yummy I would love see ya in less from time to time!**

**23) Since both you and Law are both from the North Blue do you by chance know each other or would like to get to know him better?**

**24) So I herd you were a big fan of fairytales as a kid. Did you or, still do you have a favorite and if so why?**

**25) Are you free next Friday night? *winks***

***swoons* You're the best ever Sanji-kun! *faints***

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **LOLLY DREAM-CHYAANN! Wow, purty long! IMMA ANSWER!

**Rusty: **Thanks, Lolly, it was just the idea from my friend to continue it. Thanks again, enjoy the show.

**Sanji: **she… SHE… **STARED AT ME! **NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE! Thanks, thanks, THANKS, AND MORE THANK YOUUS! Yes… everything you just said, from my head to toe, my inside and out, YOU **REALLY MADE MY DAY!**

**Rusty:** HEY. RULE NUMBER ONE.

**Sanji: **b-but…

**Rusty: **get on with it.

**Sanji: **Dont mind Rusty, he's being peachy….

ANSWERS!

1) BOXE- Commando seems like a good idea… (wink wink!) maybe you wanna… oh, hi Rusty!

2) SEXUAL TENSION? Noooo! Its not that! Its because that idiot couldn't find the way back from idiocracy coz he keeps GETTING **LOST!** No, theres no… er… SEXUAL things going on… honest!

**Rusty: **I really gotta get Zoro on the show, wonder how this'll all turn out…

3) 11 and a half. Probably 12, coz I need toe allowance so I'll feel comfy.

4) Tell em, if you have patience, then good food is the reward, or if they don't wanna listen, then say GET THE #$& OUTTA THE KITCHEN. Simple enough, it works well on Luffy!

5) Im not hiding it… its just that… my bangs are long…

6) Like I said, seven sticks to one pack if im okay, but I can smoke 2-3 packs a day if im stressed out.

7) Hahaha, I would like to, just as long It'll help me relax. Hey! I saw that…

8) Probably live there, or fish some of the amazing fishes there and cook it, and see how it tastes… ahh… All Blue…

9) Look at my hair roots, its blond!

10) His-

**Rusty: **TOO MUCH INFO. NEXT.

11) NO! never did…

12) Knives belong to the kitchen. And why would I hide it on my shoe? Pretty good idea, but I gotta preserve its usefulness, never use knives for combat.

13) My alter ego. I go on Mr. Prince in dire situations, like how I fooled o'l crocky. Haha!

14) I WOULD! Mellorine!

15) Well, worried, coz he looked insane, holding a dumbell tonfa above my head, crying, wow, that was weird, but I understood how he felt, the poor sod.

16) Hand model? Well im not sure if I'll be qualified, I got lotsa cuts from chopping stuff…

17) Er… D-don't say that!

**Rusty: SPIDER!**

**Sanji: **UWAAAGH!

**Rusty: **there are some stories, but its hard to find those…

**Sanji: **im really… REALLY GONNA KILL YOU.

18) JUST AS LONG AS IM THE ULTIMATE LEADING CHARACTER! Torture is fine! I forgive!

19) Spicy… yum… especially when it hits the sweet spot…

20) ? er… yes it was hot in alabasta! Heat wave, probably?

21) Hand… Foot… (remembers Nami) BOTH! But I like hands, they're lovely…

22) In Movie 3. I was only wearing a dress shirt on top! I would like to show more, but Oda-dono PUT ME ON AN OKAMA ISLAND $#$^!

23) Well… I never heard of him before…but to respect my captain I have to know more about him.

24) THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG! Why..? remember that it's the inside that counts, not the ugly, decieving outside!

25) …you really WANNA… RUSTYY! You look good!

**Rusty: **OOKAY. Thanks Sanji, and thank you Lolly Dream for the letter. Last comes 2 from Takono.

* * *

**Takono  
**

**Rokuu: TAKONO!**

**Takono: Eh?**

**Rokuu: GUESS WHAT!**

**Takono: Chicken butt.**

**Rokuu: NO! EVEN BETTER!**

**Takono: THE 2012 THEORY'S TRUE AND I CAN FLY DURING THE APOCALYPSE? OwO**

**Rokuu: Er... sure. but look at this! (pokes column)**

**Takono: S... S... (runs in and glomps sanji) SANJI! YOURE BACK! ^^ AND BOY DO I GOT QUESTIONS FOR YOU!**

**Rokuu: no random stupidity like "cheddar" again, is it?**

**Takono: nope! and the limit! 27-**

**Rokuu: TWENTY FIVE.**

**Takono: WHATEVER.**

**have you been DOING for the past three years? Keeping us waiting like that! Hmph!**

**2. Je ne parle pas bon francais... ehe... ^^' Tasukete kudadai? I got a final next week...**

**3. Hey, I got this weird growth on my foot...**

**Rokuu: O.o**

**Takono: he said PROBLEMS too! Eh, I was kidding anyway. XD**

**4. spot ANY changes about me you notice from 3 years!**

**5. funny. I met another best friend last year who's in love with Zoro... she might post reviews on the column if i beg her ehough. Her name's Axel.**

**6. Hey, you have your first GUY question on this chapter. nice.**

**7. Want me to show you pictures of my nami cosplay if Rusty's told you about it? :) Ax's gonna be you, so Im gonna be all over her. XD And I have some of me as you if you wanna see. :P**

**8. You never told me you had a SISTER!**

**Deidara: I TOLD YOU, IM NOT A GIRL! AND IM NOT RELATED TO HIM!**

**9. Kurry once told me... I'll never forget this... that the reason youre so flexible is that you take ballet. Is this true? XD**

**10. What would you do if i were to tell you im bi? (im not, but im asking.)**

**11. I have the feeling you watch Ranma 1/2. idk why. i just do.**

**12. If you could be ANY anime character (that EXISTS in current anime/manga) who would you be? and why?**

**13. "BluePinstripes"? Fan of Don Pinstripe, are we? Checking out the playboy in his desk in the Mansion arc? Huh? Huh? XD (nudge)**

**14. Do you miss Trisha and Drake? :( I do.**

**15. Hows tagteaming with Rusty going with this?**

**16. i heard all blue's been worked on. what happens now? does someone get aids?**

**Rokuu: I'm... not going to comment on that question.**

**Takono: aw, why dont you ask him something?**

**Rokuu: alright.**

**17. you ENJOY being a pimp, dontcha?**

**Takono: IGOTONEIGOTONE!**

**18. can you poop? e_e**

**Rokuu: ...REALLY?T_T**

**Takono: YES! XD**

**Alright, we got nothing else, I'm sorry Sanji-kun... I'll see you next time, kay~? ^^ baii!**

**-Takono (AND ROKUU)**

**p.s. HAVE FUN ON OKAMA ISLAND! XDD**

**

* * *

**

**Takono  
**

**HOLD ON! I FORGOT SOMETHING!**

**You like fairy tales too? Oh yeah. the mermaid thing. COUGHKOKOROCOUGH.**

**And i heard you were 108 pounds. (flick) didntcher mother teach you to eat your own food?**

**hmm. lets see what fanfic turns "sanji" into when i put spell check on! Sandi, Sanity, Sangria, Sandpit, Santa, Smelly, Shoe, WINSON.**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **Takono-chan! THANKS FOR YER LETTER!

**Rusty: **im keeping an eye for this one. Go on…

**Sanji: **OKAY! YES IM BAACKK! TO MAKE ALL GIRLS HAPPY! OKAY… answer time…

1) Ask the author, he's the dumbass who left us here!

**Rusty: **HEY! Lets see YOU go to college!

2) Vraiment? C'est dommage ...

3) WHAT GROWTH? Er… I think Rusty meant real-life problems…

4) Your… your… (nosebleed)… YOUR…

**Rusty: **NEXT.

5) TT_TT I KNOW SHE JUST DID… ZORO LOVER… PAGH! DISGUSTING!

6) I know! Yea! GUYS ARE WELCOME TOO, if you wanna discuss… 'MANLY' things, if you dudes get my drift… like—

**Rusty: **NEXT, I MEAN IT.

7) Rusty showed me, and I LURV IT! And why does Zoro lover cosplay as me… SUCKS! But tell her I lover her anyway! Mellorine!

8) ? DEIDARA?

**Rusty: **LMFAO!

9) ODA-DONO! WHY PLACE ME IN AN OKAMA ISLAND WHO LIKES DOING BALLET?

10) Er… if you found a girlfriend, you two can come to me and—HI RUSTY!

11) Lol, if I were the star of Ranma ½, Me and Deidara will share the role!

**Rusty: **LOLL!

12) Tamaki…Lupin III… lots!

**13) Rusty: **HEY.

**14) Rusty: **Yeah, she's referring to my previous co-autors. **Sanji: **I MISSED TRISHA CHAN!

15) HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BRING ME BACK TO LIFE!

**16) Rusty: **Question excluded.

**17) PIMP?**! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU—

**18) Rusty: **Question excluded.

Yes! I like fairy tales! Th-the mermaid…? Oooh… well, no wonder im so skinny… MOM! WHY DIDN'T YOU! Damn spell checkers…. I HATE IT!

**Sanji: **SUREE TAKONO CHAN! SEE YOU NEXT! I LOVE YOU ALL! SEND MORE PLEASE! PM… WHAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! ODA DONO! CURSE YOU! But if it werent for you, I shouldn't be here anymore… sigh! Life sucks…

**Rusty: **don't be Emo, Sanji, so okay folks, a good 8 hits is what we needed! Post more reviews to see what crazyness Sanji and his fans/hater will end up to! So okay, Rusty logging out!

**Sanji: **don't forget! GUYS ARE WELCOME TOO!

* * *

So there, chappie two up. R&R! Criticisims welcome! Hope you enjoyed! –


	3. Third Night: Sanji's Trauma with RULES

Okay! Thanks for all the reviews people! Keep it up and I'll have a surprise for you guys at Chapter 5. Where all madness will break loose! Okay, on to the SHOW!

* * *

**Sanji Tonight**

**Rusty: **Sanji, eight plus twelve.

**Sanji: **(silence for 2 minutes) twenty.

**Rusty: **and that's how much hits we had for the first 2 nights. Amazing…

**Sanji: **REALLY? WHOHAHAHAHA! IM SO GOOD!

**Rusty: **now its getting lengthy. You have twelve letters to answer.

**Sanji: **REALLY? BRING EM ON!

**Rusty: **Note to all letter senders that I'll reduce the size of your letters to make it short and sweet, you guys'll be reading Sanji's answers anyway… so Here they are, pick one.

**Sanji: **Er…. JC-CHAN! Or sugerpie-chan..?

* * *

**sugerpie-chan **

**It's me, JC...hmmm...I wonder why I call miself that even thought I'm female...oh well, moving on...**

**Sanji-san, your so mean! Treat girls with respect and I like Zoro too!**

**- If Zoro was a girl would you guys still fight or would you go all 'mellorine' for him...I mean her...**

**- tell me, what did you...feel when you met/saw your first mermaid in grandline?**

**- what do you prefer: cheesecake or strawberry short-kake?**

**- how come you never train like Zoro?**

**- you look good with pumpkin panties, did you know that?**

**- why do you like girls so much?**

**- what's your favourite pokémon?**

**- have you ever been in a searious relationship?**

**that's all, bye Sanji-san... by the way, don't take this personal, but Zoro is way hotter then you~**

**ehehe...bye~ ^v^**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **to my dear JC-Chan… well some fans of mop top are like mop top himself!

**Rusty: **They're still girls. Have you no respect?

**Sanji: **Eh… well…

**Rusty: **RULE NUMBER TWO and THREE, SANJI.

**Sanji: **oh… alright…

-IF MARIMO WAS A GIRL… well… girl… but im not into moss haired people… er… Depends on how beautiful er… she will be, but for now, im disregarding that situation! (whats with my fans in gender bender questions…? RUSTY!)

**Rusty: **Cant help ya, they have rights you know.

-at first I never knew mermaids wore shirts… I thought they were nak-

**Rusty: **Ookay… NEXT.

-Cheese cake. The tangy taste of cheese goes well with the sweetness of the chiffon.

-the only training I get is cooking! Besides, my legs are already in tip top shape, they can even bust down an iron door!

**Rusty: **I never saw you do that…

**Sanji: **want me to test it on YOU?

-(remembers Medusa in Soul Eater) (drools) yeah… I remember… WAIT! **ME? **Never tried… but maybe I can…

**Rusty: **he's willing to try anything now…

-because of their… bewildering beauty, vivacious shapes, magnificent eyes, soft silky hair… and their smooth…hot…

**Rusty: **UNTIL THERE ONLY.

-HITMONLEE, did a spar with him once, so good. But he cheats coz his leg stretches… Blazieken is cool too, I'd like to go one on one with it.

-YES! Plenty of times with Nami!

**Rusty: **those 'plenty of times' were the times she used to manipulate you, pansy.

**Sanji: SHUT UP! **NAMI LOVES ME! THAT'S ALL!

Zoro, HOTTER THAN ME? IN WHAT WAY! I GOT ALL HE TAKES!

**Rusty: **RULE NUMBER 3.

**Sanji: **sigh…. Thanks JC-chan! I'll be nicer to Zoro. (a little, like a piece of dust so tiny, THAT LITTLE…) WRITE AGAIN! Rusty, next is VelonicaSushi!

* * *

**VelonicaSushi  
Hi Sanji, Rusty.. :)**

**Here are the questions..**

**1. If, I mean IF, One Piece IS All Blue (maybe... this is just a random thought that popped out from my head), will you hand it over to Luffy who's desperately searching for One Piece?**

**2. Why do you love girls so much? *is curious***

**3. If Zoro is your slave for a week, how will you torture / use him for the time being?**

**4. Can you sing? :P**

**Okay that's all I have to ask... *stares at Sanji for 15 minutes.. -nosebleeds- ***

**Erm.. bye! :D**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **VELONICASUSHI! Lovely name… Erm! ANSWER TIME!

One) we can share it! Well, if he agrees that is… but im having a feeling that One Piece is located at All Blue… (yes, random thoughts too..)

Two) Well, you want me to say it again..? it's because of their… bewildering beauty, vivacious shapes, magnificent eyes, soft silky hair… and their smooth…hot…

**Rusty: **THERE WE GO AGAIIN!

Three) (evil smile) I'll… I'LL… MAKE HIM BOW DOWN AND LICK MY SHOES CLEAN! IF THERE'S A SPECK OF DIRT, I'LL KICK HIM ON THE FACE!

**Rusty: **No, he cant do that, a million and a half Zoro fangirls will kill Sanji before he does so…

**Sanji: **thanks for ruining my fantasy, Rusty…

FOUR) Yes! You heard my songs Moulin Rouge and Girls ni Kubittake?

Sigh! A lovely letter from a lovely named fangirl of mine! WRITE AGAIN! And I would like to stare at you please…?

**Rusty: **NEXT LETTER Sanji.

**Sanji: **from 12kia-CHYAN!

* * *

**12kia****  
**

**Aohla sanji-kun ! Here are mi questions sweety! 1)would you ever get married and too who 2) has there ever bin a girl u havnt bin atracted to 3)how do u feel about boa hancock , the most beautiful woman in the world , being in love with luffy ? 4) don't you no that you can get cancer and die from smoking ? 5) I would love to taste ur food, will you cook for me one day.**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **12kia-CHYAN! ALOHA to you too, me sweet! Answer time!

ONE) Hmm… too much to choose, so I guess I'll marry…

**Rusty: **Answer discontinued, it goes against Sanji's RULE NUMBER ONE.

**Sanji: **WHY?

TWO) Err… the fat mermaid, she claims, of water 7… well, she maybe a woman, but… er… yeah!

THREE) Boa.. Hancock? Whos that..?

**Rusty: **here… (shows pic)

**Sanji: **! **WHATTA WOMAN! IS SHE SINGLE?**

**Rusty: **engaged with Luffy.

**Sanji: AND SINCE WHEN DID CAPTIAN FIND A VERY… HAWT LADY LIKE THAT?**

**Rusty: **NEXT ANSWER.

FOUR) my lungs are forever young, and no matter how much I smoke, my lungs are bright pink!

**Rusty: **pink..?

FIVE) MELLORINE! I WOULD! What would you like?

THANK YOU 12KIA-CHYANN FOR writing to the most badass chef in the world! Wtie again, muuuuuuaaa!

**Rusty: **Okay, next.

**Sanji: **From BOWLACHEESED.

**Rusty: **be prepared.

* * *

**BowlaCheesed  
**

**(GASP) NO ONE PIECE GUY AS EVER ACCEPTED GAY GUY FANGIRLS BEFORE! (starry eyes) I LOVE YOU! (kiss) ahem. back to this.**

**1. (slicks hair back) you free saturday? ;)**

**2. arent you uncomfortable with that hair in your face?**

**3. do you remember your parents? what were they like?**

**kay ill talk to ya later~**

**

* * *

**

(Background SFX) DON, DON, DONNNN!

**Sanji**:H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-AAAAAA?

**Rusty: **Toldja, couldn't stop laughing when I first read it, well, answer! Oh, and don't worrry kev, Sanji ACCEPTS ANY FAN OF HIS. Right…?

**Sanji: **TH-THIS WASN'T IN THE RULES!

**Rusty: **THEN WHO THE HELL SAID GUYS ARE WELCOME TOO, LAST NIGHT? BAKA!

**Sanji: **FINE! I'll take this in! I'LL ANSWER MY FANS' QUESTIONS! THOUGH A … er… GUY! Kiss…. Okay...

ONE) Uh… I don't know how to answer that, but well, I got stuff cooking, and…

**Rusty: **Sure he is!

**Sanji: **(OMG face) WHY, WHY? (thinks) RULE NUMBER ONE, RUSTY!

**Rusty: **hey, those are not MY rules, they are made ESPECIALLY for YOU. AND QUIT COMPLAINING! YOU ARE FREE ANYWAY, RIGHT?

**Sanji: **huhuhuhu!

TWO) Well, these bangs on my face were never cut since I was two, so im kinda used to it.

THREE) Well… pretty vague, but I do remember my mom was blonde… or was it my dad… or both…?

**Rusty: **(smirk) you seem REALLY comfortable talking with Kev.

**Sanji: OROSAI! IM GONNA GET YOU BACK FOR THAT!**

**Rusty: **Thanks for writing kev! Write again, Sanji'll miss you, really!

**Sanji: TT_TT**

**Rusty: **since you're emoting there, next comes from, this time a DUDE. Alex!

**Jason Southwell**

**Just so you know, just put Alex.**

**And Sanji, another one. What if the whole crew(Besides you) were the opposite gender, caused by an unknown permanent force?**

**Sanji: **Yo, Alex! To your question, THAT MEANS NO MORE NAMI-SAN AND ROBIN-CHAN? Well, I would really like to see the other crew members as ladies… Well, Usopp is a turn off, long nose and all, Chopper excluded, animal, FRANKY ESPECIALLY. Brooke… er… can he still be a girl…? That leaves Sencho and Marimo.

**Rusty: **AND Sanji is really imagining how it'll look like. And I picture Nami and Robin as two… MACHO guys… and yeah, things'll really get happy!

**Sanji: **Thanks Alex for writing! Write again eh! Really, Rusty, whats up with my Fans' asking gender benders?

**Rusty: **well due to the recent happening of you ending up on okama island, and suddenly turning into one really sparked their imagination.

**Sanji: **how about you, YOU are a Sanji fan right?

**Rusty: **Well, before, until you held your hight heels on your right hand. Yeah, I saw that chapeter cover.

**Sanji: TT_TT**

**Rusty: **Next come from Lolly Dream-Chan.

* * *

**Lolly Dream****  
**

***Cheers* Such a fun show! Then again how could it not be when Sanji-kun is the star! Thank you so much for answering my last questions! It's a memory that I shale forever treasured in my heart!**

**Wuv you Sanki-kun! *blows kisses***

**Oh … right … Rusty your cool too! ^.^;**

**New set of questions!**

**1) What do you think is most important on a first date?**

**2) If you could have any one wish granted what would it be?**

**3) What is your favorite song?**

**4) If you HAD to star in a yaoi manga with one male crew member who would you pick?**

**5) What's the best dream you ever had?**

**6) If you had your own cooking show what would it be called?**

**7) Do you prefer silk or cotton bed sheets?**

**8) Having just seen the recent anime episode I must ask Sanji-kun who first did your make-up job for your fight scene? It made you look so pretty, though the next bit of make-up for the beach scene, same as the manga was a bit much.**

**9) Will you flash us your panties again Sanji-kun? ^.~**

**10) What is your fav dish to make?**

**11) Your body is so amazing Sanji-kun what advice do you have for others to help look as good as you? Though I'm sure it's impossible for anyone to look as good as you! *hearts***

**12) What do you do during your night watches to help stay awake?**

**13) If I was being attacked by a giant spider would you save me? *pouts with a lot of bottom lip and gives sad eyes fluttering eye lashes***

**14) Do you approve of sleeping in the nude?**

**15) What brand of cigarettes do you prefer?**

**16) What kind of fanfic stories do you like to see your self most portrayed in?**

**17) What is your most favorite body part to be kissed on? *wiggles brows and gets ready to take notes***

**18) How do you keep your hair so shiny?**

**19) What do you think Zoro's issue is with needing 3 swords rather then 1?**

**20) What's your best childhood memory?**

**21) What kind of games did you use to play as a child?**

**22) Who do you think snores the loudest on the ship?**

**23) Do you like cats or dogs more?**

**24) If I gave you my number would you give me a ring on the Den Den Mushi sometime? *giggles***

**25) So with the many nude pictures of you circling the web …what's a girl got to do to get some new ones? *sucks on a popsicle intently watching Sanji-kun***

**Thanks so much for the entertainment! *pins a gold star on Rusty's forehead for a job well done***

**I have a gold star for you too Sanji-kun but silly me. I put it down my top and can't find it now. Guess I will have to find something else to give ya later ^.~**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: LOLLY DRUREEEM-CHAN!** How are you…? And im sooo happy to have answered your question, and even MORE happier to you asking me more!

**Rusty: **thanks.

**Sanji: **ANSWER!

ONE) APPEARANCE! You have to look good to your date. and MANNERS! Treat your date with respect.

TWO) Find All Blue… (fantasizes)

THREE) I like sexy Jazzzy ones, turns me on most of the time…

**Rusty: **A little more and you could have done an infraction to RULE NUMBER TWO.

FOUR) Do I really have to answer this, Rusty?

**Rusty: **his answer was Zoro, but Luffy could do too.

**Sanji: **_**IMMA KILL YOU RIGHT NOW…**_

**Rusty: **Next!

FIVE) When me and Nami-san were in the bed… and…

**Rusty: TOO MUCH.**

SIX) The All Blue Cooking Show! Hows that for a name of my OWN cooking Show!

**Rusty: **err… catchy?

SEVEN) Cotton! Soft and fluffy! Silk is hot…

EIGHT) Ahh, those… er… make-ups were the famous etchings and skewings by Oda-dono! (who PURPOSELY PLACED ME ON OKAMA ISLAND!)

NINE) Well, do I wear panties? Well, I'll just show you my sea king print boxers. Howzzat?

TEN) Italian and Japanese. Sometimes french, and im learning oriental dishes (chinese, etc.)

ELEVEN) MELLORINE! Well, work out! Use legs for fighting! Study capoeria, learn to cook, and of course SMOKE!

**Rusty: **THAT WAS NOT PART OF ROUTINE, PLEASE IGNORE THE LAST.

TWELVE) Smoke, and daydreaming… about… nami-san's…

**Rusty: **NEXT.

THIRTEEN) KAWAII! YOROKONDE! I WILL! Whe'res the spider… GRRR…

**Rusty: **you're sitting on it.

**Sanji: UWAAGH!**

**Rusty: **Believer.

**Sanji: **_**YOU… DIE NOW!**_

FOURTEEN) Yes! Sometimes when the night is hot, I sleep nude! And think of…

**Rusty: **Can you get enough of wet dreams already? NEXT!

FIFTEEN) I tried the Marlboro Black, and yeah, that I prefer, it's pretty stronger than the ones im carrying.

SIXTEEN) ME AS A HERO, HOLDING NAMI-SAN IN MY ARMS AND GOING TO GIVER HER A…

**Rusty: **NEXT.

**Sanji: **I WAS ABOUT TO SAY KISS!

SEVENTEEN) …my…MY…

**Rusty: **(hawk eye glare)

**Sanji: **my chest! Of course! Hahahaha!

EIGHTEEN) Shampoo twice a day! I use a strong conditioner, then the whole day, shiny hair!

NINETEEN) Well he needs three to beat up bad guys, where magnificent moi can beat em up bare handed!

**Rusty: AHEM.**

**Sanji: **WHAT? FINE! Of course he needs three swords, its to scare his opponents to a corner, a corner where Marimo will kill them at, HAPPY, MR. AUTHOR?

TWENTY) The time I first boarded a fancy ship… and it all fell down when shitty old geezer boarded it and looted it.

TWENTY ONE) Football! And hopscotch!

TWENTY TWO) Who else! Marimo!

TWENTY THREE) Cats! They're more cute!

TWENTY FOUR) Oh, sure! How bout midnight calls? There we can…

**Rusty: **NEXT.

TWENTY FIVE) **O_O**

**Rusty: **Answer it.

**Sanji: **but isnt that an offensive on RULE TWO?

**Rusty: **Its not part of the rules, but im gonna keep an eye on your answer.

**Sanji: **Well… they should… find… good photographers… then go to a place where…

**Rusty: **GOOD PHOTOGRAPHERS IS THE ANSWER.

**Sanji: **I was about to say 'you can have a pictorial for a condom-'

**Rusty: **SANJI.

**Sanji: **I WAS ABOUT TO SAY CONDOMINIUM COMPANY.

**Rusty: **Cant he get enough of green? Thanks for the pin Lolly dream.

**Sanji: **Ohh… something else…. Can it be…

**Rusty: **NEXT ONE FROM WINGED DEVIL GIRL/AXEL.

* * *

**Winged Devil Girl**

**Way to crush the fangirl, bastard. *THWACK***

**and a few things to add.**

**Do not call me 'dear.' i will whip that white perv ass so quick if you do you won't have time to stumble out some sugarcoated horrid pickup line.**

**second, just Axel. not -chan, not -san, not -sama, not anything. treat me like an equal.**

**third, no, i won't love you instead. why would you want me to, anyway? You deranged in that blond head of yours, or is looking at your eyebrow in the mirror messing with your mind?**

**Ciao.**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **Okay! I know how to get this, Rusty, stand back!

Well, I don't totally HATE Zoro, in the end he's just a brothercoughpansycough who's afraid to use one sword against a million enemies.

Whip me all you like, Axel-chan… I remember… my mothers love… when she kept spanking me… sniff!

No, I will call you Axel-Chan, because its not in my vocabulary to treat a lady as an equal, they have to be treated with UPMOST HONOR AND RESPECT.

You can call me deranged, or having a hypnotic eyebrow, but my love for you… WILL NEVER WAVER!

**Rusty: **Last one was an infraction to RULE ONE.

**Sanji: **okay, then my love for you… plus everybody else's!

**Rusty: **Sanji could have cried on this letter! Oh well, don't worry Sanji, don't cry!

**Sanji: OROSAI! **_**WHEN THIS NIGHT IS OVER IMMA KICK YOU LIKE I DID TO ABSALOM…**_

**Rusty: **And with me kicked all over and over, who can update this column, huh?

**Sanji: TT_TT **I feel defeated!

**Rusty: **Next comes from Takono.

* * *

**Takono **

**NO GIRL'S EVER STARED AT YOU BEFORE? DO YOU REALIZE WHAT I"VE BEEN DOING SINCE I BECAME A FANGIRL?**

**1. If he was a REAL dumbass, he would continue the column because he wouldnt be accepted into college. xP ever think of that?**

**2. Oui... mais je peux etudie pour l'examen! Je veux un A+ :) Mais JE T'AIME BEAUCOUP, SANJI-KUN! :3 (i like practicing on an asking column. XD if youre getting tired of it, tell me.)**

**3. Real life problem? ok. my friends think youre stupid and ugly. Except Axel. (hug)**

**4. my... my... My...? O.O ACK! YOURE BLEEDING! CPR! (mouth-to-mouth)**

**Rokuu: (vein pop) you just wanted a kiss, didntcha?**

**Takono: TT^TT hes not gonna die is he?**

**Rokuu: wow. you really are that stupid.**

**5. Hey! Zoro lovers have feelings too!**

**6. Manly things? ok. FOOTBALL! XD**

**7. she dresses up as you because she likes to. because then i hug her. a lot. XD**

**8. how bout this? (puts on sanji wig, and ties a blue pinstriped polo around ribs while wearing it, short black pants and heels) (draws curly brow) hows this?**

**9. dude, she made that theory way before shabondy. so is it TRUE? OwO**

**10. Neon wants you to be fair to the other fangirls, right? (sits in his lap out of costume, pets his chin, plays with his hair and makes their noses touch) (hot tone) so hows about you date another fangirl every night~? And kiss all of us~? And i could be the first you can...**

**Rokuu: LALALALA! I DONT WANNA HEAR IT!**

**Takono: (whispered it in his ear) Good idea~?**

**11. if you were the star of ranma 1/2, half the time youd be a shirtless girl whenever you fight someone. XD**

**12. OO TAMAKI? :3**

**13. whaaaaat? asking if you can poop isnt a valid question?**

**14. ah, if only she were a reviewing fangirl.**

**15. AND THE GIRLS!**

**16. When you were little, did you ever imagine what your dream wife would look like?**

**17. That. Would be my twin sister.**

**18. (pantses him) NINJA.**

**19. (hug) FAIRY TALE LOVERS~!**

**20. hey, what if i just decided to... (holding up dart, aiming at his brow)**

**gomen ne. but i'll see you tomorrow, ok? (kiss) bye!**

**

* * *

**

**Sanji: **TAKONO-CHAN! THANKS FOR WRITING!

**Rusty: **he recovered soo fast from the last letter…

**Sanji:SHUT UP! **Answer time!

ONE) IN THE END HE'S STILL A DUMB ASS.

**Rusty: **another rant like that, im SO DISCONINUTING THIS COLUMN.

**Sanji: **er… GOMEN!

TWO) Ne vous inquiétez pas, continuer à pratiquer ici et je peux vous donner un A + jusqu'à obtention de votre diplôme!

THREE) I meant… Gaahh! (nosebleed) And if you wanted a kiss, TELL ME! IM GONNA KISS YOU GOING dowwwnn…

**Rusty: **SHUT UP! NEXT!

FOUR) LET THEM SAY WHAT THEY WANT, IM STILL MR. PRINCE!

**Rusty: **Lol! Mr. Prince of Retardia….

**Sanji: **(Fire Eyes) _**YOU… DIE…**_

FIVE) **Rusty: **Yeah, Sanji, they do too. **Sanji: **I Detest Zoro, but his fans are girls… THIS IS SO HARD TO GET IT WITH!

SIX) Yess… Balls… FOOT ON BALLS… THEN GOAAL!

**Rusty: **GET OVER THE GREEN ASS%$#^!

SEVEN) THEN WHY THE HELL SHE HATES ME WHEN SHE DRESSES HERSELF UP AS ME?

EIGHT) Is she depicting im an okama… or…

**Rusty: **mmph! NEXT!

NINE) IM NOT LIKE BON CLAY!

**Rusty: **caught him once practicing. With those swan like things on his feet.

**Sanji: THOSE ARENT SWANS! THEY WERE DUCKS! **Oh $#%^. I said it…

**Rusty: **There you go!

TEN) **Rusty: TOTAL INFRACTION TO RULE NUMBER ONE! IM IGNORING THIS!**

**Sanji: **(blood all over the place) lets…. Lets to it… pleaaasssee?

**Rusty: **_**NEXT! IT ENDS THERE!**_

ELEVEN) No! Deidara will be the girl!

Deidara: DIE…

TWELVE) Yes! Tamaki! We are best of friends! I gave him a magazine as a gift!

**Rusty: **Magazine or a H_ Doujin?

**Sanji: **NEXT!

THIRTEEN) **Rusty: **we know all the answer to that, Takono.

**Sanji: **what if I don't?

**Rusty: **_**THEN IT CAN COME OUT OF YOUR PEN!$! **_WHERE'S YOUR COMMON SENSE?

FOURTEEN) **Rusty: **again she's referring to my previous Co-author.

FIFTEEN) **Rusty: **uh-huh.

SIXTEEN) Someone with… censored due to infraction to RULE NUMBER ONE and a very nice body…

SEVENTEEN) then why call me a pimp? Come to a hotel and I'll show you that im NOT!

EIGHTEEN) **Rusty: EXCLUDED.**

NINETEEN) Aww! You too? What fairy tale?

TWENTY) _**OI!**_

**Sanji: **ARIGATOU TAKONO! I LURV ALL MY GIRLS! (Guys too,, but that 'love' is 'like')

**Rusty: **sure was a lengthy one. Okay. Thanks to all who sent their reviews and kept this column alive, I mean it, thanks. And continue going on! Anyone but anyone is allowed in the column! Sanji and I will keep you entertained, so keep writing! And if we get enough hits, I got one hell of a surprise for all of you on Chapter Five. Okay? Thanks!

**Sanji: **whats that surprise? Lemme guess, a guest?

**Rusty: **Well yes, but who will be the interesting question.

**Sanji: **Dump it, Zoro is gonna be here, im sure.

**Rusty: **No, someone EVEN BETTER.

**Sanji: O_O **who is it…?

* * *

So, yeah, that's about it! It's the 3rd night and things are going lovely for Sanji (from random questions to nice and comforting letters from fanga/uys) Keep it up yo! R&R, criticisisms accepted. Peace! –.


	4. Fourth Night: Temporary Narrator

Alright! Tonight we have a little surprise of our own! Not as big as chapter five, but a surprise nontheless!

* * *

**Sanji:** (pacing back and forth) Where the hell IS that bastard? He was supposed to update DAYS ago! He updates these things every day! OO when I get my hands... er... FEET on him...

(door creaks open)

**Sanji:** DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG THEY'VE BEEN WAITING, RUSTY? AND ME?

**Takono:** Jeez. SOMEONE'S cranky this morning.

**Sanji:** T-T-TAKONO CHAN! (hug) What brings YOU here? (grin)

**Takono:** Welllll Rusty's been busy with school, so I offered to take over for a chapter. :)

**Sanji:** A chapter? Stay here _fore_-(stops to think about the rules) er... a chapter... ok...

**Takono:** Well I'm glad youre doing ok keeping rules!

**Sanji:** Can I have a kiss or two this chapter?

**Takono:** Sure! But only if another girl does. That way it wont be an infraction to the rules!

**Sanji**: Mellorine! Ok, theres the mailbox. What you have to do is hand me all the letters and help me answer. Rusty posted the rules on the wall on a piece of paper.

**Takono:** (salute) Can do, cook! (marching to the mailbox) (brings back a whole pile) youre popular...

Sanji: Hehe! Yeahhhhhhh. I just hope theres less HATE mail...

Takono: Wanna read this one first? Its from Uzu... Uzuna... (squint) Uzun Nan-Nan. New girl?

Sanji: Guy. Check the profile.

Takono: Ohhhhhhhhh. Kinda hard to tell. There were just girls in the LAST column. Remember SkZs and Keisha and everyone? Ahh good times... good times... ONTO THE LETTER!

* * *

**Uzun Nan-Nan**

**Okay I wanna ask questions! Okie dokies, I don't know if everyone's updated with the recent chaps and episodes but whatever.**

** 1) How does it feel to be an Okama now?**

** 2) What is the first thing you'll do when you see Nami and Robin when the crew gets back together (now that your an okama)**

** lolz, they're only Okama related questions but I can't help but love the new Sanji! Okama forever!

* * *

**

**Sanji:** Dear Uzuna-banana...

**Takono:** (facepalm) UZUN-NAN-NAN.

**Sanji:** ITS HARD... Ok, so Uzun... your questions.

1. (really trying to control temper) Okama... Okama... NO MORE OKAMAS!

**Takono:** I take that as an "I don't like it".

2. The narrator DID say that whoever sets foot on that island becomes girly, right? So If I step OFF... Im going to be back to normal! So once I get off that wretched island, I'll run up to those beauties and hold them tight and say "NAMI SWAAAAAAAAN! ROBOIN CHWAAAAAAAN! MY LOVES, I'M BACK!"

**Takono:** (giggle)

**Sanji:** What?

**Takono:** Oh nothing... just imagining their response to you doing that in a dress! Hehe!

**Sanji:** T^T (sigh)

**Takono:** But he asked how you'd do it as an okama.

**Sanji:** As an okama? I dunno. Ask them to go shopping or someth-(Takono laughing harder now) THATS NOT FUNNY! (sweatdrop)

You're going to have to say goodbye soon, Uzudabada! I'm planning to get off that island and rip that dress off right there! No girly shoes! No girly clothes! Just me and my MANLY BROW!

**Takono:** O/./O (YELP)

**Sanji:** What?

**Takono:** O/_/O N-Nothing... (waves away) J-Just pick up the next one!

* * *

**Jason Southwell**

**To me, it is disturbing. I just ask them, weirdly, because more of Emporio Ivankov. Sanji, you ask, he ate the Horu Horu no Mi. Weirdly, one of the attacks can GB.**

** What if, Boa Hancock joined the crew? Would you fight Luffy, or what if Luffy chose Gina back during the Davy Back Fight?**

**Sanji:** Sup, Alex?

If... Hancock... j-joined... _

**Takono:** no comment.

**Sanji:** Er... back to the question! Um... I wouldn't fight Luffy... I'd give him extra meals for a week.

**Takono:** You're that desperate for more women?

**Sanji:** I'm 19 and single! :(

**Takono:** All the more reason not to be committed. XD But Hey, You got a LONG letter from Lolly Dream.

**Sanji:** I can always count on her to make me feel happyyyyy!

**Takono:** Rule One...

**Sanji:** I know...

* * *

**Lolly Dream**

**Sanji-kun! Asked me how I'm! *spins and almost faints* I have never been more happy, now that your asking Sanji-kun! *holds her face wiggling side to side* **

** *Swoons over the amazement Sanji-kun always seems to be* Sanji-kun you get better and better! You're so kind to answer everyone's questions no matter who they are and what they think of you. Your heart truly knows no limits with the utter kindness you can spare to all, just like you're cooking your willing to keep dishing it out to whoever needs your ever sweet kindness! **

** …**

** Oh right … Rusty *thumbs up* Nice job. ^.^**

** Now more questions for you Sanji-kun you sexy devil you! **

** 1) *cries in big sobbing tears* The pie I made you! Other people ate it when I was not looking! You're not mad at me are you? **

** 2) *coughs* So what's the story between you and Rusty? I mean just how is it Rusty seems to keep you so wrapped around his ... erm finger? **

** 3) What is your fav kind of cookie?**

** 4) You having gotten made into Okama seems a little fishy with how they were all planning to capture you and such, it just seems like a set up, like somehow they made you, maybe putting under some evil spell or something.I don't know. I did not mind the first look in the anime they put you in for the fight but that other … *pouts* it made my heart sad. Your to sexy for that! You won't stay like that will you?**

** 5) How old were you when you lost your virginity? *blushes***

** 6) What do you think of fast food? **

** 7) I can deep throat a banana! Wanna see? **

** 8) What is your fav movie? **

** 9) Wanna make this Lolly pop? *loses brain cells from the bad pick up line and pouts* I tried. **

** 10) How many licks does it take till you get to the center of the Lolly? *more brain cells die* I fail so much at this *cries***

** 11) What's the best thing (of course besides your cooking) you have eaten on your journey so far?**

** 12) What's the longest part of your body? *giggles***

** 13) Sanji-kun your so noble, as much of the harsh words you say about Zoro its clear you have a soft spot for him and worry about him as much as anyone *coughs* if not more ... anyways! …in the Thriller arc you both were willing to die yet didn't want the other to. Can I ask what played though your mind when you heard Zoro talking to Kuma and ask for his life to be taken rather then Luffy's? **

** 14) If we were two ice cream cones how would you keep me from melting? *gets weird flashes of 70's dating show games from this odd question and makes note to never make questions so early in the morning again* ^.^; **

** 15) Can you play any musical instrument?**

** 16) If I gave you my thong silk panties would you wear and model them for me? *smirks***

** 17) What's the most difficult thing you have ever tried cooking? **

** 18) Wanna take a bet on who can hold their breath the longest? But if I win you have to wax your legs! Better yet! Have Rusty wax them for you! xD **

** 19) Who do you think is the most hansom male member on the ship? Besides you of course as no one can hold a candle to you Sanji-kun. *sighs and swoons over Sanji-kun's hot sexyness***

** 20) Ninjas vs pirates…who do you say would win? **

** 21) Can I have a hug? *nibbles on bottom lip giving big blue doe eyes to Sanji-kun with a begging, pleading look on her face* **

** 22) What's the one most never thing you would say to Rusty? **

** 23) Oda-sama has made you and Zoro ALMOST kiss now two times. Think if there is a third time a kiss really will happen? Third try as they say is the charm after all. ^.~**

** 24) Who is your favorite fashion designer? With all your sexy suits you must have one ne? **

** 25) Oh I found that something else to give you Sanji-kun *daggles hotel room key in his face* You want it? Fair warning there is only one bed, we will need to share *innocent sweet look***

** *glomps Sanji-kun and Rusty* Such a wonderful show! I can't wait for the secret surprise on show 5! Thank you both ever so much for all the superb quality entertainment!**

* * *

**Takono:** Okay I'll admit, its cute! ^^ I'd do the same...

**Sanji:** Alright... I could get used to a girl host~

**Takono:** I heard that...

**Sanji:** No you didn't! :)

AHH LOLLY DREAM CHAN! I LOVE YOUR AMAZEMENT OVER ME! I FEEL SO LOVED!

**Takono:** I'll tell Rusty you said hi ;)

**Sanji:** She called me a sexy devil... (hearts fly)

**Takono:** It's only true. (hug) (stops to think and lets go) RULE ONE. (facepalm)

1. Me? Mad at you? Of course not! It's not your fault... And I can tell you worked hard! Don't cry! (Hug) (sniffs her hair) Apples... (smile)

**Takono:** Awwwwwwwwwww!

2. Oh its not that. Let's just say if you read the LAST Ask Sanji column, things went awry. He just didn't want it to happen again.

**Takono:** FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME IM SORRY. JEEZ.

**Sanji:** Daijobu... you did nothing wrong...

**Takono:** ...

3. Favorite kind of cookie? I dunno... There's peanut butter chips with chocolate, my own swirled vanilla and strawberry creamed oreos, chocolate chocolate chip with sugar sprinkled on top...

**Takono:** (drool) ...

4. I knowwwwwww! I know! I plan to escape ASAP. I'm tired of these okama island questions! I don't mean you specifically... but I promise I will live to be straight and OFF THAT #$%ING ISLAND!

**Takono:** ._. language...

5. (blood pouring) u-uhhmmm... I haven't... but if you want I could-

**Takono:** NEXT!

6. After what I'VE seen? BLECHH! The taste is okay but I've eyed the cooks! In some chinese restaurant I stopped a guy picking his nose in the kitchen! I didnt give them a damn penny! I dont trust some restaurants. So fast food is worse. They don't handle the food with care sometimes and some gets tasteless. What's worse is that you can't tell what they do in the kitchen from the car... (shudder) I get chills.

**Takono:** (eyes McDonalds fries shes eating) ... (eats them anyway)

7. Okay... But if you choke, I know mouth-to-mouth!

**Takono:** You mean CPR?

**Sanji:** That too!

8. Well I've been meaning to watch Kick-Ass. I hear it's good.

? Oh it's okay...

10. No you don't! Please don't cry! It's a great question! But I just don't know! ^_^;

**Takono:** Don't try licking a cold ice cream scoop in the winter... It took me like 7 seconds to unstick. XD

**Sanji:** ...how did that come up, Takono-chan?

**Takono:** licking round things.

**Sanji:** ...(NOSEBLEED)...

**Takono:** ...no comment.

11. Well if I didn't make it-

**Takono:** Apis' food?

**Sanji:** N-er... no... Some old guy in Water 7 gave me some onigiri with this AMAZING SALT. I took the recipe. :)

12. You wanna check~? (nosebleed)

**Takono:** HIS LEG. (blush)

13. (looks at Takono)

**Takono:** I've never heard a question like that... It's amazing...

**Sanji:** Lolly Dream chan is so amazing~ Well... sure we fight a lot, but I don't HATE him. He's still my friend. And no one wants their friends hurt. I trusted he had a slight chance of living, but I was still worried...

**Takono:** (film) internet!

**Sanji:** ...

14. Stay close to you so we can keep each other cool! (hug) You ask the most lovely questions! I love it!

**Takono:** RULE ONE RULE ONE RULE ONE!

**Sanji:** I'm sorry, Takono-chan!

**Takono:** As long as you do this to EVERY girl, it's fair.

15. Of course! I can play every instrument known to man! I just can't make it sound good. XD

16. (idiotic grin, heart eyes and eyebrow) ehehhe... she's giving me her panties... ehehe...

**Takono:** ...

17. A whale. Yes I've tried. And just barely succeeded.

**Takono:** (starry eyes) SUGEHH!

18. Against you? Alright! But I have some strong lungs! But if YOU lose... hmm... I get a kiss!

19. MALE? Um... I guess Zoro.

**Takono:** Why? More fangirls?

**Sanji:** ahh... (blue lines) no...

20. PIRATES of course!

21. Aww! (hug) You didn't have to ask, Lolly Dream chann! Mellorine! Mellorine!

22. One thing I'd never say to Rusty? Um... he can't get a date.

23. NO. NO NO NO. NO. O_O

24. Ohh Lolly Dream Chan~

**Takono:** Any lingerie designer.

**Sanji:** (caught off guard) O/O...

25. (grabs it) YES!

**Takono:** HEY! I ALREADY SHOT FIRST DIBS! (vein pop)

**Sanji:** Write agaaaaaain~ (swoon) She's so loving and caring...

**Takono:** Hey! The next letter's from BowlaCheesed!

**Sanji:** O.O

**Takono:** That got him to stop. XD I'm gonna go to the bathroom...

**Sanji:** O.O DONT... LEAVE ME... WITH...

**Takono**: I'll be right back...

**Sanji:** (sits there for 10 minutes before opening it) (GULP)

* * *

**BowlaCheesed**

**Hey, Sanji... Can I tell you a secret~? (holds him against the wall)**

** (takes off wig and rubs off makeup and its TAKONO) April fools! ^^**

**Sanji:** O.O... U-UMMM... UHHH... Oh. TAKONO! Wait... so it was YOU who kissed me?

**Takono:** Yup!

**Sanji:** And... Theres NO Kevin?

**Takono:** Nope.

**Sanji:** (relieved sigh) But... Can I have another kiss?

**Takono:** Well... since it IS my letter... OKAY! (kissssssssssss)

**Sanji:** MELLORIIIIIIIIIINE! I GET A GIRL HOST WHO KISSES MEEEEE!

**Takono:** Only on my letter...

**Sanji:** I guess I'd better hope every question's a romantic question...

**Takono: **I hope no one takes it the wrong way. So hold back...

* * *

**Takono**

**ehe... sorry for the prank, Sanji-kun... ^^' i just had to...**

** 1. Yeah, well... YOU SMELL.**

** 2. AHH J'AI N'HEREUXE PAS! TT^TT**

** 3. Aww, you dont need permission... :/3**

** 4. can you teach me to fight, cook and speak french? and japanese?**

** 5. How old were you when you decided to wear suits?**

** 6. Your parents arent dead... are they?**

** 7. Yes. You are the prince. The prince of retardia. And I'd like to be (ONE OF THE MANY! THAT MEANS OTHER FANGIRLS CAN BE TOO!) the princess of retardia... :)**

** 8. well she's bipolar when it comes to respecting you. You just saw her bad side. Thats all. besides, last time she was girl you with no curly eyebrow, blond hair or a covered eye and she didnt act like you and said she was the love child of you and usopp and SHE OWES ME! x(**

** 9. (facepalm) it was... supposed to be my version of girl you. what do you think?**

** 10. OO! HES A DANCER TOO! **

** 11. How's it an infraction? Rule one was not to choose a favorite. I just said i'd be the FIRST to... ;) didnt say i'd be the ONLY one to... (LOOPHOLE~) ehe... sorry for making you mad. o.o'(cleans up the blood)**

** 12. NU. ZORO BE THE GIRL. **

** 13. ...the pervs. XD**

** 14. O[]O RUSTY SAID THE P-WORD!**

** 15. if you had your own manga... what would it be about?**

** 16. if you could choose any girl in one piece besides robin and nami, who would it be? (NO SANJI TONIGHT COMMENTERS)**

** 17. imagine you wake up stranded on a beautiful girly pink and bright okama island... and there are only okamas... who would you marry? XD**

** 18. isnt a pimp someone who has more than one girl/guy?**

** 19. HOW MANY QUESTIONS ARE YOU CENSORING? (vein pop) (i can understand why in this question, though.)**

** 20. any! ^^**

** 21. O.O MEEP. (hides behind rusty) KOWAI.

* * *

**

1. (sniffs armpit) Uso...

2. Mais l'examen est fini, non?

**Takono:** I did bad... :'(

3. OK! (kiss) MELLORINE!

**Takono:** (blush) make it fair for the next fangirl or my head belongs to Rusty... ^^;

4. Yorokonde!

5. Around 16 or so...

I don't know for sure.

7. But... youre not retarded! And neither am I!

8. Ohhhhhhhh that explains it. Were there any other Sanji cosplayers?

**Takono:** Yep! Three others!

9. (looks again) Preeeeettyyyyyyyy...

10. yeah ^^

11. LETS DO IT...

**Takono:** Ehe... um... ask Rusty first...

12. he wouldn't make a pretty blond girl...

13. hey...

14. And... that's bad?

15. Girls and cooking...with a cinderella theme... And the girls name means something sweet like rainbow...

**Takono:** It's already called Kitchen Princess.

**Sanji:** How'd you know what I was going to name it?

16. Maybe Conis-chan because she was so polite... or Porche-chan because she's so cute for a busty-

**Takono:** Ahem... (sweatdrop)

17. TT^TT So cruel... and yet...

18. Yeah, and I don't want people thinking I'm a cheater!

19. I'll save this question for Rusty...

20. Your backstory could be some sort of disney princess story...

**Takono:** yeah... once upon a time, there was a little girl who ran away from a loving orphanage and got kidnapped by a abusive animal rapist thing who nearly killed her.

**Sanji:** ...

21. Don't be afraid of meeee! O^O

Eh? I got a kiss from the letter too! Woohoo!

**Takono:** Not very excited seeming today, huh?

**Sanji:** Kind of exhausted... sorry. Who's the next letter from?

**Takono:** Axel.

* * *

**Winged Devil Girl**

**i can find other ways to insult and hurt you.**

** and just how long will it take for you to break that little chivalry thing? just remember, the first time you met me, you thought i was a boy! *laugh*

* * *

**

**Sanji:** Dear Axel-chan...

**Takono:** (holding her back) go on!

**Sanji:** It doesn't matter how much you hurt or insult me! I'll still love you! And I'm never giving up on my chivalry!

**Takono:** I hope she doesn't kill anyone...

* * *

**Sugarpie-Chan**

**hey, Sanji-san, Rusty~**

** - I didn't know you had SISTERS...**

** Deidara: again, I'm not a girl, yeah!**

** Ino: ...ewwwwww! As if! I don't want to be that perverds sister!**

** - wait! didn't you wear pumpkin panties when you were fighting that...um...Okama stand-in queen?**

** - I wonder...who's hotter? you or adult Lambo from Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn?**

** - have you ever tried to quite smoking?**

** - sooo...are you going to stay as a okama or not? I kind of lost respect for you when I saw you running, heavy make-up on and all the Nami-Robin-when-we-meet-I-hope-we-can-be-great-friends-crap.**

** - are you feeling ill or somthing? it's not like you to speak bad about a woman, attractive or not!**

** - when Luffy steals food from the kitchen you beat him up, but would you have beat him up if he was a she?**

** - Do you still want to cook Chopper?**

** That's preetu much it, bye Sanji-san~**

** by the way, why does your right eyebrow form a spiral?**

**Sanji: **Dear Sugarpie-Chan... My other most dedicated fangirl!

1. I don't.

2. I don't remember... all I remember is waking up... in a dress... with a mirror in my face... and a prince gone wrong... o_o SO WRONG.

3. Me of course!

4. Yeah... It hasn't worked yet :( But I'll keep trying! FOR THE FANGIRLS!

5. O_O NO. MORE. OKAMA. NO. MORE. OKAMA. NO. MORE. OKAMA. (in corner)

**Takono:** Aww. (hug)

6. Well... It's hard to keep your cool when Rusty doesn't update, you're trying to follow rules with a GIRL host (not saying Takono chan SPECIFICALLY... daijobu.), People keep asking you about Okama island... and all that...

7. That... would be hard.

8. Sometimes.

**Takono:** ...

Bye, Sugarpie-Chan! And I was just born that way. Just like you were born to have a certain cup si-

**Takono:** MOVING ON!

**Sanji:** My fangirls are so lovingggggggggggg~! Mellorine! (eagerly opens the next letter)

* * *

**Topaz-chan**

**Dear Sanji-kun. This is Topaz-chan! *stares at picture of Sanji and nosebleeds.* Anyways on with the questions!**

** 1. Why do you hate Zoro?**

** 2. So when you and Zoro got fired with the noro noro beam and you went off screen and we missed what happend, did you really swap spit with Zoro?**

** 3. Do you think strawberry panties are immature?**

** 4. Are you always smoking because you have an oral fixation?**

** 5. Do you think cherry panties are immature?**

** 6. How much blood have you lost on your biggest nosebleed?**

** 7. Does your hair bring all the girls to the yard? Damn right?**

** 8. When you got fired with the noro noro beam did you realize that Zoro pushed Nami out of the way and that's why you both got slowed down?**

** 9. How would you feel if I had shirtless pics of you? Because I do **

** 10. ¿Habla usted español?**

** 11. Do you like spanish girls?**

** 12. If I got really drunk in a bar and I would do anything you said what would you do?**

** 13. How do you feel about ZoSan A.K.A you+zoro=naughty *shudders***

** 14. Do you like S&M? Just a question**

** 15. Can I see you left eye? *Makes big brown puppy dog eyes sticks out bottem lip and bats eyelashes***

** 16. I'll kiss you anywhere if you let me see your left eye**

** 17. Are you a morning person?**

** 18. Would you purposly give marimo food poisoning?**

** 19. Do you think that Zoro secretly has the hots for Nami?**

** 20. Would you tell Zoro he's cool if I kissed you later?**

** 21. What does mellorine mean?**

** 22. Why is your eyebrow curly. I think its cute though**

** 24. If you did that thing where you trip and land on top of a girl what would you do?**

** 25. What would you say if I said I used to take ballet? T_T**

** 26. Would you play strip poker with me?**

** 27. Would you play the pocky game with me?**

** 28. Do want kids if you know what I mean~ **

** I LOVE YOU SANJI! Oh and watch out for Zorofangirl1111. She my little sister who for some reason doesn't love you. Bai Bai  
**

**Sanji: **(staring at her with a nosebleed too)

**Takono:** you've been bleeding all day.

**Sanji:** And you're worried? Aww! (hug) Takono-chan!

**Takono:** Aw :3 yesh. Now ANSWER!

1. I don't HATE him. He's just annoying. "Cook, youre stupid. Dartbrow, make me food. Stupid pervert."

2. **NO.**

3. Nahhh... It just means the girl's sweet... and has a cute strawberry butt now...

**Takono:** (holds down skirt) next...

4. Nope... I just started when I was 10 thinking I'd be a man like that. Now I can't stop.

5. They're like strawberry panties. I've seen my share and prefer seeing girls with strawberry panties...

**Takono:** (clutching onto skirt) Next...!

6. Nearly 70 percent once.

**Takono:** I heard it was a beach volleyball incident.

7. Hell yeah! Now I don't have to chase after their mil-

**Takono**: (closes ears) LALALALALALALALALALA!

8. ...THAT BASTARD.

9. Can I see shirtless pictures of you too~?

**Takono:** ahem.

**Sanji:** Pictures of you shirtless too?

**Takono:** I meant... oh never mind!

**Sanji:** so... No shirtless pictures then? :(

10. No... o.o

11. I like all girls! The spanish know how to be extra sexy~

12. O/O... (NOSEBLEED)

13. O|||O...

14. S&M? Whats that?

15. Mellorine! Of course! (uncover)

**Takono:** (fangirlish scream) HOTNESS!

16. (holds up bangs REALLY HIGH) OK! (hearts fly)

17. Nah... not really.

18. I guess if I really wanted to.

19. Probably.

20. Sure! (hearts)

21. It's a dessert, do you want me to make you some?

22. I was born with it, thanks! ^^

24. Apologize, and if she let me, Kiss her! (you skipped 23)

25. Only a beautiful girl like you should do something that graceful~!

26. YES! And with the other girls too?

**Takono:** Eh, sure.

27. What's the pocky game?

**Takono:** POCKYYYYY! (munching on it)

28. YES.

**Takono:** OI.

**Sanji:** I will! Bai baii! (hug)

**Takono:** Speak of the devil. She's right here. (holds up letter) And she doesn't like you.

**Sanji:** Aww. Well I still have Topaz-Chan!

* * *

**Zorofangirl1111**

**Dear Sanji,**

** My freinds think I'm a Sanji fangirl but I really truly hate you.**

** your left eye a mellorine female detector that can locate any feamle of the age within a 50 mile radius?**

** you realize when you got shot with the noro noro beam and maybe frenched Zoro, Zoro didn't brush his teeth that morning?**

** you had a mowhawk would your left eye still be covered?**

** you play spin the bottle with Zoro-kun if it was a life or death situation?**

** you go mellorine an a girl from Texas who had a shotgun at the moment?**

** do you call females mellorine if mellorine is a cheap fatty substitute for ice cream?**

** you got a hair in food that I cooked for you would you still eat it, flip out, keep it like some creep, or just eat you for?**

** would you do if I made a lobter grab on to the pupil of your only functioning eye?**

** you play the pocky game with me if I said that if you win or lose you would have to make out with me either way?**

** you agree to this: I say I'm gonna make babies to Zoro then yell Oh Sanji and walk away arm in arm with you: just to see Zoro's face?**

** you be a doctor if it meant you had to do prostate exams but got to do gynacology?**

** your eyebrow swirly because of a serious medical conditon?**

** you listen to a ten minute roll of miko miko nurse if it meant you could kick Zoro in the tea-bags?**

** you count how many many licks it would take to get to the center of a tootsie pop if I told you the color of my underwear?**

** you aware that while you landed on the second maiden island which was full of okamas that Luffy ended up on the first maiden island amazon lily which was full of half naked amazon women who had never seen a male before and were genuenly interested in Luffy's kintama which they SAW and *********

** you aware that when they found Luffy unconcious the amazon women thought his big bong was a mushroom and tried to pull it off with BOTH hands?**

** you give Zoro a peck on the cheek if it meant you could make out with Nami?**

** you smack Zoro's ass (also considered his head) and give him a peck on the cheek if it meant you could make out with Nami for even LONGER?**

** would you do if I started breaking out in dance and start singing "Zoro's hair brings all the girls to the yard and he's like Damn right it's better than yours and they're like can I touch your hair and he's like nuh-uh that's my hair and if you touch it you'll have no more fingers left"?**

** would you do if your next wanted poster was that picture of you in full out drag?**

** If you say anything bad about Zoro-kun, I will come to your house in the night.**

** P.S. Zoro is better than you he is SMEHEXY (sexy+hot+smoking) and you can't do nothing about it! :P**

** P.S.S. By the way my sister Topaz-chan or chwan if you must, must have problems because she thinks you're sexy and stares at pictures of you with your shirt off in the night.

* * *

**

**Sanji: **TT^TT I guess she DOES hate me...

1. It COULD be... I dunno.

2. I didn't french anyone!

3. Hell yeah!

4. I guess. I don't exactly HATE him.

5. Yep~

6. Because mellorine is still beautiful! A girl could be fat and off the street and I could possibly love her!

7. I'd eat the ice cream...

8. I'd scream in furious pain and knock it to the ground. Then call Chopper.

9. Ohh I think I get the pocky game concept now... I'd play with you and your sister!

**Takono:** (pocky sticking out of mouth with a pout face while his backs turned) (whimper)

10. um... sure...?

11. I guess. I mean if i practiced doing prostate exams, I'd get better information on my OWN health. And as a WOMENS doctor... (nosebleed)

12. ...my genes?

13. Hm. Listen to a song about a cute girl nurse in exchange for the privilege to kick him in the balls. Sure.

14. (immediately starts counting) ONE. TWO. THREE...

15.** ...**

16. **...!**

17. (bites lip and lets out a painful nod)

18. ID DO IT IF SHE AND I WOULD GET SOME _LONG, **HARD**_-

**Takono:** _SANJI!_

**Sanji:** Eh? Sorry... all these girl questions are bugging me... I got carried away. ^^;

19. I'd say that was... very out of tune... (sweatdrop) keep trying...

20. I would beat the living sh- out of the marines until they put up a decent picture.

I wont... o.o I wont...

P.S. Nnnnnnnnope! I am!

P.S. **Takono:** HEY! I THINK THAT TOO! DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE PROBLEMS TOO? HUH? (throwing fists)

**Sanji:** (picks her up) Ehe... Don't mind her...

**Takono:** I'LL KICK HER ASS! LEMME AT HER!

**Sanji:** We need to open another letter! She's gone!

**Takono:** SHE'LL BE GONE WHEN I'M THROUGH!

**Sanji:** Think Rusty wants another rumble in his columns?

**Takono:** Gomene, Zoro fangirl... next letter...

* * *

**LIGHTDark**

**would you still be a womanizer if you were a woman yourself?**

**ZORO'S NOT A PANSY, SANJI!**

**Sanji:** Dear LIGHTDark... is it chan or kun?

**Takono:** It's an uke. XD

**Sanji:** O.o

Well if I were a woman, my body wouldnt have testosterone anymore. And considering I'm straight, I'd probably be straight as a girl.

**Takono:** Now wasn't THAT short and sweet?

**Sanji:** speaking of-

**Takono:** Rule one... ^^' Wait, I got a couple letters from... Zoro and Luffy?

* * *

**Zoro**

**Oi, cook, this is one of the stupidest ideas ever. get back to the **

**kitchen and make me a sandwich.**

**Sanji:** Make it yourself. Next.

* * *

**Luffy**

**Hey Sanji!**

** THE GAME.**

** thanks! XD and get me food!**

**Both: **...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

**Takono:** Alright, that was the last letter.

**Sanji:** Are you sure there isn't another? (looking through letters)

**Takono:** I'm sure. Now I gotta go. It's not my account. o_o

**Sanji:** Nooo! Don't! If Rusty won't update a lot, I'll be left here alone and bored!

**Takono:** Don't worry! I'll review!

**Sanji:** B-BUT... CAMP!

**Takono:** ...oh right. Well we have a week until then. But for now, Rusty said there was a surprise coming next chapter! So wait and see! Keep checking! (peace sign) JA NE!

**Sanji:** WRITE BACK, GIRLS! I LOVE YOU ALL! (hugs Takono) REVIEW THIS CHAPTER! ILY!

**Takono:** Go eat. You bled a lot.

**Sanji:** i knowwww...(whispers to the other girls) You write too! (wink)


	5. Fifth Night: The Nightmare with ZORO!

IM BACK! Okay, so Takono sent me her update for chapter four, and did my best to post it. Hope you like the last chapter, coz THIS chapter will konk YOUR MINDS OUT. Enjoy!

* * *

**Sanji Tonight**

Wait, before that, lets see what happened yesterday, when Takono juust left the building…

"Byee! Takono-chyaan!" Sanji yelled in glee, waving his hands wildly.

"Okay, okay, I gotta go and tell Rusty I've done my shift, okay? And you'd better leave too, its getting late!" Takono said, as she exited the door.

"okay, let me just clean the blood all around the floor!" Sanji ran to the stock room, and grabbed a huge mop.

Silence fell in the whole room, Sanji, with sleeves up, mopping the floor vigorously. _"man, I cant WAIT! JUST CANT AT ALL! The next set of letters…. I CAN IMAGINE THEM NOW!" _

Suddenly, Sanji heard the faint tune of Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance"

"eh…? Someone out late…? Who could it be?"

Sanji placed the mop leaning on the wall, and walked to the direction where the sound was coming from.

"Hello?"

Mum response, the song was still playing, slowly filling the hallways with its tune. Sanji came across a door, where the sound was coming from. Sanji came close to it, and listened. He could hear the song playing clearly from inside.

"Oi, anyone in there?"

Blank, the music was still playing. Sanji turned the knob, opened the door, and the music came out blasting clearly.

"HEY! IS ANYONE THERE?" Sanji yelled against the music, receiving no response. _"what the hell…?"_

Sanji went in the room… and the door closed shut…

* * *

The Next Night… Rusty walks in…

**Rusty: **Sigh, back once again. Phew, Lab Rats driving me wild…

**Zoro: **oh, you're here. Finally you came.

**Rusty: **Zoro? Oh, right, the special guest. Good youre here! Where's Sanji?

**Zoro: **beats me, I thought he''d be here before you.

**Rusty: **Strange… Hey, Sanji! Where are you? You got letters pending!

Silence…

**Rusty: **weird! When he hears Letters, he should come here with tornado legs by now…

**Zoro: **Guess its Zoro Tonight now huh?

**Rusty: **OI! DON'T GO ROBBING TITLES LIKE THAT!

**Zoro: **hey, blame Sanji! He aint here yet!

**Rusty: **Lets wait a little longer…

After 25 whole minutes of excruciating silence…

**Rusty: **Dammit! WHERE IS HE?

**Zoro: **I'll be happy to leave if he's not here in…

Suddenly, A loud noise came from behind the two, and Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance" started playing, loudly.

**Rusty: **what the…?

**Zoro: **Eh…?

**?: **Ooooooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh… oooh, caught in a bad romance…

**Rusty: **Ohhhh, NO….

The door blasted open, and Sanji came flying in… wearing a frilly pink Cinderella dress, with princess mitts, red high heel shoes, a rose bouquet, Face equipped with heavy make up, totally red blush on, 2cm long eyelashes, thick lipstick, and a cigarette on his mouth, on his right arm, a bright electric pink prada bag, and a make up kit held on the left.

**Zoro and Rusty: **_**UWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!**_

**Sanji?: **CAUGHT IN A BAD ROMAAAAAAANCCCEE! (pose) Ahhh…. I feel soo…. REFRESHED! (twinkle! Twinkle!)

**Zoro and Rusty: **(jawdrop)

**Sanji?: **oh, my me, sorry… am I late for Sanji… no… **SANJINA** TONIGHT? (shows off okama worried face, creepy) SORRY IF I AM, REALLY! (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rusty: **nyaaahh! Stay AWAY! And YES! YOURE 30 MINUTES LATE, AND DON'T CHAGE THE NAME OF THE SHOW!

**Zoro: **Oi… Rusty, permission to kill this ABOMINATION in front of me…. (readies swords)

**Sanjina: **(looks at Zoro) oh… my… you didn't tell me… you brought a… (wink) hunky… man along… Rusty…(twinkle twinkle!)

**Zoro: **_**!**_

**Sanjina: **(skips over to Zoro) Well… I have to tell you one thing, mister… hunky… (comes closer)

**Zoro: S-STAY AWAY FROM ME, FREAK!**

**Sanjina: **did you know…. (comes even closer) That green hair… (jumps backwards, leaps forward, promptly kicking Zoro's face) **IS SOOOOO OUT OF STYLE TODAY! **(twinkle twinkle!)

**Zoro: **GWWAAAHHH! (falls to the floor) DAMN GAYLORD! IMMA… (Sanjina sat on Zoro's chest, holds up a spraycan)

**Sanjina: **but I do have the… PERFECT REMEDY FOR THAT HAIR OF YOURS…. (shakes spraycan)(evil okama smile)(twinkle twinkle!)

**Zoro: **_**!**_

Horror and chaos filled the whole room, and an hour later…

Scenario… Rusty wearing a maid suit, Zoro now has pink hair, and wearing a sailor fuku, both were tied tightly on the chairs, the whole room is colored pink, with hues of baby blue and yellow (done artistically), Sanjina sitting down in the middle of the table soo happy, his… er… her smile reaches his/her ears, while smoking.

**Rusty: **… (blushes heavily) Dammit, I WASN'T MADE TO DO THIS JOB!

**Sanjina: **(smacks Rusty with a rolled up newspaper) SHADDAP! YOURE RUINING THE BEAUUUUTIFUL AMBIENCE! (twinkle twinkle!) how about you Rorona-Chan? How are you doing? (twinkle twinkle!)

**Er… Rorona: DONT CALL ME THAT! AND WHERE ARE MY SWORDS? AND WHY THE HELL AM I WEARING THIS?**

**Sanjina: **(Smacks Rorona) I SAID SHADDAP! Don't worry, your swords are perfectly safe… under my skirt! (pulls up)(twinkle twinkle!)

**Rusty & Rorona: WYTURFNSJHIIGDFAQLKI! **(censored)

**Sanjina: **(puts down) AANND! I let you wore those coz, I NEED SOMEONE TO MATCH MY DRESSY WESSY! (twinkle twinkle!) Oh yes, why are we here agaaaainnn? (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rusty: **we're here because of the… letters your… er… fans sent you…

**Sanjina: **FANS! OHHH FANS! Wait… what are they made of… cotton? Silk? (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rorona: **he meant ADMIRERS.

**Sanjina: **OOHH! (sweet and sour tone) SEE! RORONA-CHYAN KNOWS MORE THAN YOUUU RUSTYYY! Dumbass… (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rusty: **God… LET ME OUTTA THIS!

**Sanjina: **hush! LETS START! (tip toes to the mailbox)(grabs a letter elegantly, then tippy toes back) LETTAH ONE! From… Murcielago Princess-CHAAANN! … CLAP YOU TWO IDIOOOTS! (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rorona: WE'RE TIED UP, HOW CAN WE DO THAT?**

**Sanjina: **in that case, raise your legs, and clap your feet! (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rusty: **(blush) THE SKIRT!

**Sanjina: **oooohhhoooo! Rusty-chan tried to dooo itt! ANYWAY, enough blabbar! START! (twinkle twinkle!)

* * *

**Murcielago Princess**  
**2010-06-24 . chapter 4**

**HI! I am Murcielago Princess aka Zoro's #1 fan girl!**

**I just want you to know that while I don't completely hate you, I really can't stand you. In fact, here is a list of guys that are way more awesome than you.**

**1. Tie between Ace and Zoro.**

**(Because let's face it, there are both sexiness barely contained in their hot bodies. I could go on forever on how hot they are, but there is a 10000 character limit for reviews)**

**2. Luffy. (Not only is he hot, but he is also funny. Not to mention selfless.)**

**3. Aokiji (he is tall, tan, and totally sexy!)**

**4. Chopper (while he wouldn't qualify as hot, he is sooooooo adorable!)**

**The reason you are not on this list is because**

**A. You're too skinny! Let's face it; girls want strong men, not some puny stink figure.**

**B. You're a smoker. Smoking is really gross!**

**C. You have no awesome abilities. Ace had fire attacks. Zoro can use three swords at once. Luffy has the Gomu Gomu no Mi. Aokiji can freeze everything! And Chopper is a talking reindeer! What can you do beside kick people really hard? Wow, really impressive(being sarcastic)**

**D. Your nickname really sucks!**

**Fire Fist Ace= Awesome**

**Pirate Hunter Zoro= Awesome**

**Straw-hat Luffy= Awesome**

**Blue Pheasant Aokiji= Awesome**

**Cotton Candy Lover Chopper= CUTE!**

**Black leg Sanji= Sucks!**

**E. You're only a cook! Ace is 2nd in command of the Whitebeard pirates. Luffy is the captain. Zoro is his first mate. Aokiji is an Admiral. And Chopper is a doctor. You know what they all have in common? They're all more important than you!**

**Anyways, here are my questions**

**1. When will you finally admit that Zoro is and will always be more awesome than you?**

**2. How do you feel that there are a lot of ZoroxSanji stories? Zoro could do a lot better than you.**

**3. How would you feel if Zoro and Nami became a couple?**

**4. Or if Luffy and Nami became a couple?**

**5. Can't you do anything else besides kick people?**

**6. Are you aware that there more Zoro fan girls than Sanji fan girls**

**7. When the hell are you going to go to a damn gym!**

**8. What's with your damn fear of spider? It's pretty lame**

**9. Why do you suck so much?**

**10. Can you have Zoro as a guest?**

**11. Or Luffy?**

**12. Or Aokiji?**

**13. Definitely Chopper!**

**14. I think you look like a penguin! Not a question, just stating a fact.**

**15. Can you ask Zoro if he is doing anything this weekend? Maybe he and I can go out.**

* * *

**Rusty: **(hope that cracks HIM up!)

**Sanjina: OOOHH! THE CRUELTY! THE FATE! THE MALICE! (just wait till I kill you, $#^#...) **AHEEEMMM! ANSWER TIMEE! (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rorona: **Please, for the love of humanity, SAVE ME MURCIELAGO….

**Sanjina: SHUT UP, rorona chan, youre pushing my butttooonnnss! **(twinkle twinkle!) Look, Murcielago-Chan, I don't care if there are stronger men than me! You should know that MEN ALWAYS HAVE A WEAKNESS. Luffy can drown! Aokiji can drown! Chopper can drown! Ace can DROWN TO WATERY HELL (since he's firee!) and Rorona-chan? He has… a tendency to become a girll… (evil glare) (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rorona: **(tries budging) DAMMIT!

**Sanjina: **moving on! ABILITIES, okay, I'll take in the fact that ALL the guys you mention are stronger than me, but I can kick any man's weakness, and that's between the legs…. (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rusty: **(sweats hard) gulp!

**Sanjina: **AND BEING THIN, is always in… NONE OF US GIRLS WANT TO LOOK FAT! AGREE? (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rusty & Rorona: NO COMMENT!**

(SMACK)

**Sanjina: **Yes… Black Leg Sanji really sucks as a nick name… maybe "**LOVELY LEGS SANJINA**" WILL SUIT BETTAH! AGREE? (twinkle twinkle!)

**Rusty & Rorona: **(both out cold)

**Sanjina: **Silence means yes! Moving on! Hmmm.. maybe Luffy-Sama should have made me his dancer recently… I maybe a cook! But I can ballerina well! Wanna SEE? QUESTIONS! (twinkle twinkle!)

ONE) Ohh! Rorona-Chan WILL BE ALWAYS AWESOME WITH THAT PINK HAIR!

**Rorona: HELP!**

TWO) OHH! MY! ME AN RORONA-CHAN! Sounds like a good idea…. (evil grin)

**Rorona: H-E-L-P!**

THREE) NO! I MALEVOLENTLY DISAGREE. RORONA-CHAN IS FIT TO BE A GIRL. LEAVE MY BEST FRIEND NAMI-CHAN ALONE!

Four) I have to talk to Nami-chan about that first! To give her advice!

Five) I could… GIVE THEM A MAKEOVER!

Six) Im only interested in fan boys, like Rusty!

**Rusty: IM NO FANBOY!**

Seven) Hmmm… I think I like my body figure better…I don't need excersise… AGREE?

**Rusty & Rorona: **Haaaii….

Eight) _**OMG… SPIDER? WHERREE! **_(screams out)

**Rusty: **I think we found his weakness!

**Rorona: **Spiders… eh?

(SMACK!)

**Sanjina: **IT WAS ONLY A FIB! IM NEVER SCARED OF SPIDERS! (shudders a bit)

Nine) SUCK? I don't suck anything… its gross…

Ten-thirteen) RORONA CHAN IS THE GUEST HERE.

Fourteen) OMG! SHE JUST OFFENDED MY LOOKS! I DON'T LOOK LIKE A PENGUIN! I LOOK LIE A MERMAID! AGREEEE?

**Rusty & Rorona: Kokoro…GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA **_**!**_

(SMACK 5x)

Fifteen) NO! HE STAYS RIGHT HERE WITH ME! HE LOOKS CUTE WITH PINK HAIR.

SOME NERVE! Thinking RORONA-CHAN IS MORE PREETIER THAN ME? HMPH! IM PREETIER, AGREE?

**Rusty & Rorona: Kokoro…BWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAAWAWa **_**!**_

(SMACK 20x)

**Sanjina: **NEXT! SUGERPIE CHAN! (twinkle twinkle!)

* * *

**sugerpie-chan**  
**2010-06-23 . chapter 4**

**Hey Sanji-san, Rusty...or Takono?**

**Takono-san, you did a very good job! It was more fun and happy-go-lucky like when there was Takono-san there and not Rusty...don't take it personaly Rusty, okay?**

**lets see:**

**- If you wonder about my cup size it's...I'm sorry, my best friend won't let me tell you the size... let's just say it's bigger then A, okay~?**

**- I'm so sorry Sanji-san! I didn't mean to torture you with Okama Island...I'm sorry...*cries***

**- um...could you give me a hug? *big puppy eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks and a cute pout***

**- I'm happy to be one of your most dedicated fangirls...but aren't all of the girls here your 'most dedicated fangirl'? *looks up at him with big, puppy eyes***

**- do you think it is immature to use polkadot panties?**

**- if your where a girl...then who would you go all 'mellorine' for on the ship?**

**- wait! wait! are you virgin?**

**- ...who's your first love?**

**- could you do me a favor? could you give everyone in the room a BIG bear hug and a kiss on the cheek?**

**- what would your name be if you where a girl?**

**I'm sorry Sanji-san, but I kind of love gender-bending~**

**sorry!**

**that's all for now, Au revoir Sanji-san, Rusty/Takono-san~**

* * *

**Sanjina: **AHhh! SUGAR-CHAN! THANK YOU FOR WRITING!

**Rusty: **I don't really mind if im not fun at all sugerpie, errr. Right now I NEED YOUR HELP!

(SMACK)

**Sanjina: I DO THE ANSWERING HERE. Aheeem!**

-OMG, THAT BIG! (holds chests) I DON'T THINK I HAVE ANY OF THOSE! (touches Rorona's) THAT'S TOO HARD!

-Okama island… ahh! I miss my friends there!

-Hug? OF COURSE! (hugs, with matching sprinkling sakura blosssoms) There!

-Fan girls… GO GET YOUR FANS AND FAN ME!

**Rusty: **he doesn't get it…

-POLKADOTS? DON'T WEAR THEM WHEN YOU TRY TO LOOK DIGNIFIED! Wear them when youre in the bedroom with your… aahhhhh! (feels estrogen rush)

**Rusty & Rorona: O.O**

-NO ONE! NO ONE IS GOOD LOOKING ANYWAY, except for… (evil eyes to Rorona)

-Like a virgin… touched for the very first time! NO IM NOT TOUCHED! Damn Madonna…

-Well.. its ahh… (blush) A SECRET! TEE HEE! (squeals)

-OMG SERIOUSLY?

**Rusty & Rorona: OMFG, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

Chaos once again rules the room…

-SPELL IT OUT! (snaps fingers)

**Rusty & Rorona: S **is for sexy, **A **is for attractive, **N **is for naughty, **J **is for… ah… jazzy, **I **is for intimate, **N **is for… er… eh… ah… nice, **A **is for **ALL AROUND LADY, **whaddaya got? **S-A-N-J-I-N-A, SANJINA! **(fireworks and flying confetti)(applause sounds)

I just LOOOOOOOOOOOVVEE THE WAY THEY PERFORM! Gender bending? Oh, those two, don't mind them! ADIEUU, SUGAR-CHAN! NEXT!

**Sanjina: **LOLLY- CHAN!

* * *

**Lolly Dream**  
**2010-06-23 . chapter 4**

***slips into cheerleader outfit with matching pom-poms* Takono-chan is so kind! *cheers* Thank you so for helping out the boys! Your tha best Takono-chan!**

***further cheers shaking her pom-poms* Do your best in school Rusty-kun! Fight-o Rusty-kun! *kicks leg up in the air and shakes pom-poms more***

**Awe and don't think I have forgotten your praise my sweet Sanji-kun! In fact this time I even have a little gift for you thanks Takono-chan's wise words, and it's very true. You do bleed a lot, so here! *pulls out a pack of liverwurst hidden in pom-poms* It has lots of iron in it and should help with keeping you from becoming anemic. *leans in real close and runs a finger up and down Sanji-kun's chest slowly while letting her voice slip to a lustful sensual tone* Cause a big boy like you needs all of your … hot … wet *whispers the next word in Sanji-kun's ear* liquids.**

***pulls back and giggles shaking her pom-poms* Wuv ya Sanji-kun! You're so great!**

**Oh and by the way you all can just call me Lolly unless you really think me a dream come true *gigglesnorts at her bad joke***

**On to the questions! *cheers and does another leg kick and shake of her pom-poms***

**1)While I'm in this cheerleading outfit can you give me pointers on how to make my body do amazing bending things like yours does? With all those back flips and twists and turns your body … flexing … bending… *loses train of thought slipping into a naughty daydream of Sanji-kun***

**2)*coughs* I'm ok now! On your crew what male do you best relate to?**

**3)Sad what if question! If you and your crewmates somehow ended up starving to death and Chopper offered himself to you as a sacrifice as food to be cooked would you do it? Would you cook Chopper if it meant others and yourself could live?**

**4) Now a more happy question! What's Nami's bra size?**

**5)So Sanji when Zoro is lost you seem to always be able to find him! How do you do that? You got like a Zoro-radar or something…? *eyes Sanji's pants and looks away before the implication can be noticed***

**6)So as I said before I'm a fanfic writer who specializes in you dear Sanji-kun. Do you have any tips for me to keep in mind when trying to portray you? Do keep in mind Sanji-kun I'm yaoi writer. If I can't have you why write about another woman getting ya right. ^.~**

**7)Let's have underwear day! *strips off cheerleader outfit and stands proudly in her red lace and silk thong panties and matching bra* You will join me right Sanji-kun?**

**8)What is the weirdest thing you have ever dressed up as?**

**9)*gasps in shock* So Sanji-kun is all pure, and has not been touched eh… Well what is the farthest you have gotten with a girl? *Coughs* or boy?**

**10)Dancing bears! For or against them?**

**11) True Fact! Have you heard that some woman can smoke a cigarette or shoot ping-pong balls from their *coughs* other set of lips? You know *points below her waistline***

**12)So the other night I happened to drink just a little to much and when I woke up the next morning I found myself nude under the covers in this bed at some hotel with this huh ... green haired man who happened to have three swords and huh … lets just call him Zor…. Huh Oroz … yeah that's it Oroz *waves hands franticly* No one you know! *hopes he buys that* Anyways somehow I happened to end up with this *shows a black bandana* Any idea of how I should get it back to him? I think it's kinda important to him. ^.^;**

**13)Whaaa *cries and gags* a skunk I think died out back. Sanji-kun can you do something about that?**

**14 & 15)Your back-story is truly heart warming and it always makes me cry when I watch or read about it but! I have always wondered why you were on that cruise ship to begin with. I like to think you're some Prince from North Blue having to escape the horrors of your country due to your life being in danger and just a small boy at the time and all you had no choice but to flee! I'm sure you're under contract with Oda to not give to much info on that away but I'm I close? Is there anything you can tell us about your Life in North Blue?**

**16)What is your fav wine?**

**17)Cause of your cute little eyebrow being all swirly like a devil fruit, I use to and kinda still do think you're a devil fruit. *blushes* If I were to take a nibble on you, and if you were such, what special power would I gain? ^.~**

**18)Since this will be for the 5th show … Sanji what is your truest, honest, deep hearted feelings about the special guest star person or thing Rusty brought for us all and you?**

**19)Hey Sanji-kun do you got any ping-pong balls and cigarettes you can spare? I waana try something.**

**20)If you could have any kind of pet in the world what would you pick?**

**21)Can you show us how you dance? *pulls out some twenties and waves them willing to slip them to him if he plays along like a good boy for her amusement***

**22)*holds up an ink blot* What do you see in this?**

**23)You so amazing with your legs AND feet! I have to ask do you know how to give those massages to another person using your feet? And if so can I have one? ^.^**

**24)Hey Sanji-kun what do you think of these? *lifts bra and flashes Sanji-kun***

**25)*evil smirk since Sanji-kun is still recovering* Now lets not forget about that dare on who can hold there breath the longest! As much as I would love a kiss from Sanji-kun I play to win! Ready Sanji-kun? Great! *pulls out a stop watch and takes a deep breath then holds it as she singles the start of the contest with a hand and taps her foot as time goes by***

**….**

***taps foot more starting to turn blue and looks to see how Sanji-kun is doing***

**….**

***starts to turn purple and tries flashing Sanji-kun again then passes out at 2 minutes and 13 seconds***

**…**

***one hour later wakes up* Did I win?**

**Heh I always knew you made breathless Sanji-kun but wow! xD**

***blows kisses to all who helped out on the 5th show and the 4th too!* Thank you all for making it so great!**

***tries to steal Sanji-kun away while no one is looking* Let go share a cigarette Sanji-kun ^.~**

* * *

**Sanjina: **OMFG! I GOTTA GET THAT OUTFIT FOR RORONA AND RUSTY!

**Rusty & Rorona: OMG, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Sanjina: **ooohoooo! Don't TEASE me like that! (feels testosterone, JUST a little) ugh… well! ENOGUH ABOUT THAT! Cough! QUESTIONSS!

One) OH! I CAN TEACH YOU VERY WELL! First I have to wear that outfit… AND one for Rusty, and another for Rorona too…

Two) LUFFY-SAMA! He has a kind heart, even if his appetite is voracious…

Three) Chopper… hmmm… (gets axe) poor thing! I pity animals, but we're hungry anyway!

Four) Hmm… ENOUGH TO FIT MELONS IN!

Five) OMG! HOW DID YOU KNOW! RORONA-CHAN! I HAVE A RADAR! NOW I WONT… (evil okama grin) **LOSE TRACK OF YOU…**

Six) OH! OH! Don't forgettt! I HAVE A… tee hee! Girly side too! (and a naughty one even!)

Seven) YES I WILL! I'LL FIND TOHSE CLOTHES! And let Rusty and Rorona-Chan wear it too.,…

**Rusty & Rorona: NOOOOO!**

Eight) hmmm… dressing up like… formal, you know, neckties, suits, I feel hot!

Nine) YOU WANNA KNOW THAT? Tee hee! (squeals) it's a secreeeett!

Ten) OMFG OMFG! BEARS? WITH THEM!

Eleven) Really? I gotta try that too! But its lumpy down here…

Twelve) RORONA-CHAN…

**Rorona: WHAT?**

YOU… WILL DIE ABUSING MY BEST FRIEND! (SMACK 100X)

Thriteen) (kicks away) there!

Fourteen-Fifteen) (confused) ha?

**Rusty: **what, the estrogen rush blocked the memories?

(SMACK 50X)

Sixteen) White wine!

Seventeen) (feels testosterone) COUGH! IM NO DEVIL FRUIT! IM PLANNING TO SHAVE OFF THIS BROW!

Eighteen) HIS HAIR IS SOOOOOO LOVELY WHEN **PINK! **(smiles okama-ly pretty?)

Nineteen) OMG! MEE TOO! (gets some)

Twenty) A CAT WITH A PINK RIBBON!

Twenty-One) (dances ballerina)

Twenty-two) RORONA-CHAN IN PINK PANTIES.

**Rorona: OI!**

(SMACK 50X)

Twenty-three) OOHH! SURE! It'll help you good in cheer leading!

Twenty four) I WANT ONE!

Twenty-five) (still holds breath) YOU CAN NEVA BEAT… me… COUGH! (faints)

**Rusty & Rorona: THE TYRANNY IS OVER!**

(SMACK 150X)

**Sanjina: SEZ WHO? **Hmph! Oh, a cigar? Okay!

(Comes back)

**Sanjina: NEXT! **Is… LE GASP! ITS RORONA'S FAN GIRL!

* * *

**Zorofangirl1111**  
** 2010-06-24 . chapter 4**

**Hi, Zorofangirl again.**

** does it sound like you throw up when you throw up when you speak french?**

** , since when did you learn to play the guitar?**

** you aware of that certain "Dos Fluer Clutch" ?**

** you think Robin washed her hands after that?**

** is that thing when you go mellorine and your lower body turns into a noodle?**

** you on drugs when you do that noodle thing?**

** you think the song the "Spirit of Zoro" would be awesome?**

** Sanji! Mistletoe!**

** you know mistletoe is poisonous if you eat it?**

** you said you would probably love a fat woman off the street, would you love Old Lady Kokoro?**

** P.S. sO have you read the fanfiction Pink Wine? XDDDDDDDDD**

** P.S. is STILL hotter!**

* * *

One) Well whats YOUR problem if I speak French? RORONA-CHAN AINT GOOD WITH IT!

Two) Well, probably when I was 5, but I play with the strings cutting them with scissors! WHAT FUN!

Three) OMG! I WANT TO LEARN THAT MOVE! But, all I can do is just watch Robin to it…

Four) YES! OF COURSE! HOLDING ICKY #^#$ IS SO YUCK!

Five) FLEXIBILITY!

Six) No! its my famous ballerina tornado! (Imma kill you if you keep making fun of my tornado…

Seven) RORONA CAN SING! (listens to the song) BLAH, I don't thinks so… (changes to overtly sweet sour voice) but I can help youu~~

**Rorona: God NO!**

Eight) YOU SHOULD KNOW, THAT'S POISONOUS.

Nine) I TOLD YO SO. (pfft!)

Ten) KOKORO? SHE IS MY GRAND MA! SHE'S VERY UGLY, but im pretty, AGREE?

**Rusty & Rorona: Kokoro… BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA **_**!**_

**(SMACK 200X)**

Pink wine…? Oooo! (goes to see) NO RORONA-CHAN IS ONLY FULL OF MUSCLE! NO SOFT PARTS!

TAKONO NEXT!

* * *

**Takono**  
**2010-06-23 . chapter 4**

**Well wasn't that fun? ^_^ Let's do that again sometime! (pinches Sanjis cheek) and I hope you enjoyed it too~**

**To sugarpie-chan- really? thanks! :) Hey wait! I wear polka dot-(covers mouth shut) O.O...**

**Anyway...**

**1. XD you cant pronounce Uzun Nan-Nan...**

**2. Lolly dream was right... (feels his thigh muscles) sexy devil... rawr. Howd you do it being a cook?**

**3. did you get your blood back?(holds his face) you still look pale...**

**4. =3= i DID shoot first dibs... (look at number 25 on the response to lolly dreams letter)**

**5. Was I scary as BowlaCheesed? XD**

**6. YOU STILL SMELL.**

**7. O^O I did bad.**

**8. I saw 5 Sanji cosplayers actually... One was Ax, One was another girl, one had a girlfriend, one was gay and one was just Sanji.**

**9. ANSWER CHAPTER 4'S NUMBER TEN QUESTION.**

**10. Huh. Sugarpie, Lolly and I could be triplets.**

**11. (still has pocky sticking out of mouth) (cute puppy eyes indicating "please play the pocky game with me too?", whimpering)**

**12. I'd hire you as my gynecologist and physical doctor anytime!**

**13. i hope i get to see chapter 5 before camp! : write mee!**

**14. Have you ever been to america?**

**15. how did your bug phobia start?**

**16. I'm just curious. On your other column, how did I, a 12 year old who's just been your fangirl for a month, become a former FAVORITE? O.o I wasn't the first, the most open loving like sugarpie (who i think is like my sister at this point because she and i are alike XD) how? and i wouldnt blame you if she was favorite now...**

**ok fanfiction wont leemme scrolldown anymore to type this so im just gonna have to go! (kiss) baii!**

* * *

**Sanjina: **OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! THE GIRL WITH PINK HAIIIRRR LIKE RORONA-CHANN! Hellow! Ouch! No pinching cheek!

ANSWERS!

ONE) UZUNANA! SEE I SAID IT!

TWO) BY RUNNING! (and ballerina)

THREE) oh! That's just the make up!

Four) Oh its okay! Lets try agaiiin! WITH RUSTY AND RORONA!

Five) YOU PLAYED PERFECT! Maybe a little more gay approach will be better…

Six) HEY I TOOK A SHOWER AND 34 LAYERS OF PERFUME

Seven) No! YOU DID GOOD! Er… when?

Eight) GAY? Im proud of him/her! Was he wearing a ballerina suit?

Nine) Lolly pop? My fave!

Ten) How? You and Rorona are PERFECT TWINS!

Eleven) Pocky?

Twelve) REALLY? Are you pregnant?

Thirteen) **Rusty: **This IS five…

Fourteen) (shudders) NOTHING! Er… I WAS FAKING! DRAMA YOU KNOW!

Fifteen) (feels dizzy) COUGH! Whats this? COUGH!

Cough! Ja! Takono! Thank you! WRITE AGAIN! COUGH!

Eh…?

* * *

**LIGHTDark**  
**2010-06-23 . chapter 4**

***pokes***

* * *

(screeches, ear piercing, glass breaking shrill) IIIIYAAAAAAHHH! (faints)

**Rusty: **whoa…

**Rorona: **is he… er… she… DONE?

**Rusty: **lets wait…

Hours pass, and Sanjina lays unconscious…

**Rusty: **whoa, I gotta hand it to you LIGHTDark, got him/her good!

**Rorona: **please… PLEASE LET IT ENDDD!

**Sanjina: **ooohh… where… am i….

**Rusty: **GAH! HE'S AWAKE!

**Rorona: **Is he…

**Sanjina… no, ITS SANJI!: WEJHDFZSETERDFVDVQET!**! WHY THE HELL AM I WEARING THIS? GWAAHH! (stops, sees Rusty and Zoro) PFFT…. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHA! WHAT THE HELL? HAHAHAHAAH!

**Rusty: **YOURE THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE LAUGHED AT! YOURE WEARING CINDERELLA!

**Zoro: DIE, FAG! LET US OUTTA HERE!**

Thus, another hour of fixing, dressing up and mental clearances pass…. Scenario, everything;s back to normal, Zoro's hair is still pink though,

**Zoro: **im really gonna KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID, GAYLORD!

**Sanji: **OI, IT WASN'T MY FAULT! THERE WAS A PERFUME THAT SUDDENLY CHANGED MY GENDER, BAKA!

**Zoro: **YOU WERE TO WEAK MINDED TO FALL FOR THAT TRAP!

**Sanji: **hmp, but the label said if I smelled it, I can earn 10 girls every second…

**Zoro: **WEAK MINDED….

**Rusty: HOLD HORSES! **Sanji aint done yet, now that we're back to normal, answer ahead, Sanji.

**Sanji: **What happened back there? Topaz-Chan!

* * *

**Topaz-chan**  
**2010-06-24 . chapter 4**

**Hi again! It's Topaz-chan! I've gots more questions for sexy Sanji today!**

**do you like Nami so much?**

**it unhealthy for me to watch One Piece all night long because you're in it, get no sleep, and then drink five cups of coffee the next morning to repeat the process?**

**3. Can you teach me how to cook? I've blown up butter in the microwave. Not joking T^T**

**4. How do you feel about PETITE girls? I'm not SHORT.**

**5. Do you have any phobias besides spiders and ZoSan fanfics?**

**6. Considering you were pretty much brainwashed on that okama island and I had my retnas burned out by that image of you in HEAVY drag and I'm still in denail even after watching that episode 6 times, what would it take to snap you back to normal? Please tell me there's a way!**

**7. How much worse do you think your situation on the okama island would've been if the REAL King/Queen Ivankov was there?**

**8.I'm double jointed in my wrists so I can turn my hands all the way around AND do OTHER stuff. Want a desmonstration?**

**9. So where'd you get the kick-ass boxers? (Alabasta)**

**10.I talk in my sleep and I will literally answer back to any questions you ask AND I do stuff, plus I sleep like a dead person. If I fell alseep in the room with you what would you do?**

**11. Is there some sort of freelance photagrapher that takes your pictures for the wnated posters and decided to take the day off when it was time to get you picture? If you find that bastard tell me so I can wring his neck like a chruch bell!**

**12. Who cultivated the flowers that grow on that damned okama island. I'm going to swim to that okama island with a flamethrower, knock out all the okamas and thier stand in queen thing, burn those symbolic flowers, and rescue you! Oh yeah, and bring you a change of clothes. And Michelle Phan**

**13. How did you come up with the honorifics chwan and swan?**

**14. Do you approve of sleeping in your underwear?**

**15. How badly does Robin scare you? (Thriller Bark position 15)**

**16. Look! Mistletoe!**

**Bai Bai Sanji-kun! I'll love you forever!**

**And Rusty if you censor any of my questions I will get my cousin who does piercings to give you a prince albert. Look it up. And yes I do have a slight temper issue but who doesn't?**

**LOVE YOU SANJI!**

**AND ZORO ISN'T SEXY LITTLE SISTER!**

* * *

**Sanji: **Topazzu-CHYAAAN! (woozy) whoa…

One) because she has a very good attitude and a hot… bad ass… body… so soft… and…

**Rusty: **hooo boy, back again…

Two) DON'T FORCE YOURSELF! You can stream episodes! Hehehe…

Three) I'll write a book of recipies for you!

Four) Petite? No problem, just as long as they're pretty, kind and havinganicebody. =)

Five) NO! I can fight them off! Er… ZoSan… WHY DO I ALWAYS GET ENTANGLED WITH YOU?

**Zoro: **YOURE ASKING ME?

Six) Cough! (dizzy) I am back!

Seven) COUGH! (feels slight estrogen) ahem, I don't wanna answer that question!

Eight) A VIDEO PERHAPS? This is cool…

Nine) well, er… I sowed it up and, yeah, it looks cool, huh? Want me to make you one?

Ten) I would go close to you… and try to feel what youre dreaming about…

Eleven) YEAH! WHO THE ^%$ TOOK IT! IM GONNA RIP HIS BALLS OFF…

Twelve) COUGH. I'LL HELP YOU! I GOT DABLE JAMBE TO HELP YOU BURN IT ALL OUT!

Thirteen) over-repetitiveness! Chan, chan, chan, chan, chan, chan, chyan, chwan, same goes for San. Hehe.

Fourteen) APPROVE! It feels more free and I can move freely in bed!

Fifteen) I… felt the aura… like a stabbing knife, and a hand between my legs ready for… 'CLUTCH' gahh! Just the thought freaks me out! But Robin-chan is a nice person! Really!

Sixteen) Mistletoe? KISS!

I'll LOVE YOU TOO! MUA MUA!

**Rusty: **hey, it aint my fault someone was posting against the rules. Gomen!

YES, ZORO AINT SEXY.

**Zoro: **how about you dying? Will that be better?

YOU DIE FIRST.

**Rusty: **Next is whoa, some mail! Eleamaya-chan!

* * *

**eleamaya**  
**2010-06-24 . chapter 4**

**1) Oh, hi. I'm a huge fan of you since the Drum Kingdom Arc. You know? I was touched when you slammed the clift of an avalance. I began to see your sacrifice-complex side from there and that's what makes me started to like you. You are stupid Kishido. Do not act stupid. Don't do carelessly sacrificed alone. Do not make me cry so tense of read that. But I like to make you died in my fic because that's your nature. I think you like to die as Hero because you'd never lost someone close to you like the other crews so you don't know what the feeling. I know Marimo was right to stop you face against Kuma. Marimo was very confidence that he could withstand Kuma's attack but you seemed ready to die that you told Marimo to look for new chef. Hey, am I wrong that I admire you because of this side?**

**2) Beside those things, I'm more like you when appeared. Haha, you do look stupid in Mellorine-style but no doubt you're the smartest guy in the boat crew. Can you reduce it? Now I know Nami even disgusted to see you in a stupid condition.**

**3) I'm a bit confused about what I have to asked. But could you call me Elea-san as well? Why only Nami? Odacchi said on SBS that you call her Nami-san because she has "queenly" side. Hey, I also have inner beauty! Well, I just can not navigate but I'll love you more than her who can only using you. I believe I'm not going to lose. I can love you like Hancock love Luffy sincerely. Therefore, more respect to me. Do not call me Elea-chan. Do not compare me with all women! Could you try to call Nami with Nami-chan? If you couldn't do that so you love her than other women in your deepest heart without you realize. *but I pray you'll got her third wedding dress for you after Clockwork Island and Thriller Bark***

**You see, right? I do not like rule number one. It really limits you, Sanji-kun. I guess you can not honest and answer my 3rd question because of that.**

**I think it's enough for this chapter. May be I will ask later in different question. Sorry to make this interview being serious. Sorry for my bad english, I hope you understand.**

**I love you,**

**Eleamaya**

* * *

**Sanji: **Eleamaya-chan!

One) Well, I don't exactly mind being the knight-who's-willing-to-throw-his-armor-and-use-it-to-defend-his-closest-friends type of guy, its my nature, I can lose the one I love the closest. Cough. If my friends are in trouble, or on the brink of death, I'll gladly exchange my life for their living.

**Rusty: **I gotta read your fics…

Two) Ouch! I only go Mr. Prince in case of urgency. I became Mr. Prince because something was not right, and I was determined to find out that something… er… im not going Mr. Prince anymore, because, things in the present is.. er… cough, changing.

Three) **Rusty: **THIS question raises a red flag on Sanji's RULE ONE. Im being mean, but sorry, I don't want anymore crisis between the fangirls, Sanji will stick on the honorific –Chan. Get that?

**Sanji: **(sniffle!) CRUEL WORLD!

**Rusty: **dont cause a commotion, Sanji.

Arigatou and gomenasai at the same time Elea-chan! But please do write again! Im willing to accept your letters!

**Rusty: **Last but not least, MissDilemma…

* * *

**MissDilemma**  
**2010-06-24 . chapter 4**

**This is the best idea ever... Can't wait for the surprise guest...**

**Hello Sanji-kun 3 *hug***

**I got questions!**

**1) When you were little, did you own any plushies? What kind? :P (I love picturing little Sanji with a cute plushie.. KYAA~)**

**2) What's your favorite ice-cream flavor?**

**3) Did you ever wear a blue suit?**

**4) Did Zeff ever complain about you swooning over girls at the Baratie?**

**5) Are you ever homesick?**

**6) Did you ever hold 'boushi'? Or tried it on :P**

**Bye Sanji-kun!**

* * *

**Sanji: **Dilemma-Chan! Thank Rusty! He had the idea before! (though he is tough on the rules sometimes…) the surprise guest was… TADAA! MARIMO!

**Zoro: **Prince of Retardia.

**Sanji: DIE!**

One) I remember holding a panda man one… hehe

Two) Vanilla!

Three) I wear it almost all the time! (comes In red, green, orange too!)

Four) A lot! He even kicked me with that friggin wooden leg of his… fat ass geezer.

Five) No, I love the sea!

Six) Boushi? Clarify?

Byeeeeeee, Dilemma-Chan! Wirte again!

* * *

**Rusty: **WHAT A DAY!

**Zoro: **what a boring day…

**Sanji: **What a holy-shit-I-transformed-into-an-okama-for-an-hour-and-a-half day…

**Rusty: **Mkay, folks, rest assured, that accident wont happen again! (the perfume was from 'Stand-In Queen' BTW.) Zoro is the guest here for two chapters, including this., so ask him a question too okay? RULE CHANGE, 8, i repeat, EIGHT, questions for each Sanji and Zoro, okay? Im gonna remove questions beyond that. Okay? Write, drop a comment, and enjoy!

**Sanji: **Oi, zoro, where are you gonna sleep tonight?

**Zoro: **nearby hotel, why?

**Sanji: **im not staying here tonight anymore, (shudder) something might happen again…

**Zoro: **Pansy…

* * *

SEVEN THOUSAND WORDS. Lol, thanks for making this a hit! Dorp more comments to expand! And on chapter ten, ANOTHER SURPRISE AWAITS! Ja! Flames accepted here. BluPStripes


	6. Sixth Night: Flamer overload

HI-YO! :D Rusty's having trouble with his account for some... odd reason. But I decided maybe I'd make a _surprise_ Sanji tonight chapter again! (I HOPE YOURE NOT MAD, RUSSELL. ;A;)

**Sanji**: Daijobu, Takono-Chan... If he gets mad... (hearts fly, on one knee, heart formed hands) ...I'LL PROTECT YOU WITH MY LIFE!

**Takono**: (giggle) got it! ^^ (opens an envelope behind back and the letter falls out) Oops~! :)

**Sanji**: First letter... (murmur) ...LOLLY DREAM CHWAN~! (hearts fly)

Takono: (giggle) Fanboys.

* * *

**Lolly Dream **

*Is still hiding in a corner from after that show crying her eyes out* I always joke about Sanji being all girl-ish and stuff b-but! I never meant for it to come true! At lest not like that! It's all my fault! I was bad fan girl and wished for it to hard! Yes that's it *rocks back forth shivering* It's all my fault!

*Five more hours of crying and finally comes out of her corner to slip into sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt and then takes a scissors to her cheerleader outfit and sexy undies* No point in having these anymore! If I'm not pretty enough to turn my Sanji-kun's head its all over for me! *starts to sob again*

Ok…questions for Sanji- … *cries again*

Question number 1 …

…

…

*busts into tears yet again* I'm sorry I just can't!

Questions for Zoro!

Zoro *is sobbing still!* I'm sorry to trouble you.

1)*offers black bandana back* Would you like this back? I'm sorry it got mixed with my things.

2)You're a really great swordsman and I fully believe in your ability that you will one day beat Mihawk and take the spot as world's best swordsman. My question to that is *sniffles* What do you plan to do after you become such?

3)*starts to cry her eyes out again* Do you have any tissue?

4)*naws on raw cookie dough* Now that I can no longer tempt Sanji-kun what is the point of keeping my figure! Do you have any cake or cookies or something with LOTS of carbs?

5)Maybe I should just skip the food and go to drinking … *whips out a bottle of sake* Want some Zoro?

6)*pulls out another bottle of sake and guzzle it down and two more* Crap and I lost the bet of who could hold our breath the longest and now! I have to kiss him! *cries hard* Zoro what do I do? I can't just kiss a guy and have it be so meaningless to them! That would make me a slut or something! Oh no Sanji thinks I'm a slut! My life is over!

7)*rubs at her red teary eyes as she sips on another bottle of sake* I would not normally ask this of you, knowing how busy you are, and all with naps, and training, and important things like that, but after that little adventure from the last time we had drinks together *puts a finger to her lips* Shhh don't tell anyone … but huh well … is there something wrong with me, I mean, am I just such an awful fan girl to have that a hero as great as Sanji would let himself be taken so fully over by okama power? *falls over in a drunken stupor*

8)*after ten minutes of laying on the floor past out jumps back up* I'm ok! I meant to do that! *falls into Zoro* I think I might have had a wittle bit too much to drink again… Hey Zoro wanna go back to that one hotel? *looks up at him with red eyes from all her crying, due to her broken heart over Sanji-kun, as her eyes start to tear up again* If not I'll understand. Why would anyone want me as a fan girl anyways I probably disgust you too now.

Thank again for the …wonderful show … *sniffles*

*hugs Zoro* It was nice of you taking time out of your busy days for us little people when I know you rather be training and napping and all that needed stuff to get ready for your next battle with Mihawk. So thank you very much Zoro.

And Rusty! As wonderful as always as I'm starting to see you always give your 110%! *hugs* Thank you as well!

*stares at Sanji* …. *busts heavily into tears* … *falls to her knees in a huge depression of gloom state ever so heartbroken*

Zoro please take me away! I just know Sanji can't stand to look at me any longer!

* * *

**Sanji**: Lolly Dream-Chwan... Youre not at fault at all! (hug) Daijobu!

**Takono**: She seems... angsty. o.o

**Sanji**: (jaw drops) NO! YOURE BEAUTIFUL! YOURE AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL! YOURE THE MOST-

**Takono**: (GLAAAAAAAAAAAARE)

**Sanji**: (shivers down spine) (whispers) I'll buy you new clothes... And I'm free all week... don't cry...

1. (JAW DROPS EVEN FURTHER) NO! MY QUESTIONS! ;A;

**Zoro**: HEH. Loser.

**Sanji**: F#$ YOU.

**Takono**: (slap) Zoro, go on.

**Sanji**: TT^TT

**Zoro**: Oh, thanks. I was looking for that. And youre no trouble at all...

2. Cool. Supporter. :D After? Um... I guess...

**Sanji**: HE'LL DIE UNDER MY FOOT AND GROW OLD WITH CATS.

**Takono**: (BONK) MOVING ON...

3. **Zoro**: (passes tissue box) (hug) daijobu.

**Sanji**: (GLAAAAAAAARE) (Mutter) _I'M THE LADIES MAN AROUND HERE._..

BEAUTIFUL! YOURE HOT! YOURE REALLY SEXY! DONT RUIN YOUR FIGURE JUST BECAUSE YOURE SADDD! ;A;

**Zoro**: (whisper) if this is all a plot to make him depressed, job well done.

5. Oh, thanks! (chug)

6. **Sanji**: NO! I'D GLADLY KISS YOU! I REALLY WOULD! (picks her up, dips her in his arms and deeply kisses her until she calms down) M'love... :3

**Zoro**: (rolls eyes)

7. Nah. Youre not bad, and he's just an idiot.

8. Sure, I'll-

**Sanji**: Oi! I'm taking her!

**Zoro**: You had your chance, you stupid cook! She asked me!

**Sanji**: I'm the one she wants, though! She needs someone who really loves her!

**Zoro**: You're just jealous of her.

**Sanji**: WHAT?

**FLASHBACK: Sanjina: **(looks at Zoro) oh… my… you didn't tell me… you brought a… (wink) hunky… man along… Rusty…(twinkle twinkle!)

**Sanji**: (very hard blush) YOU... F#$TARD...

**Zoro**: (grabs Lolly Dreams arm) cmon.

Oh, no problem. Anything to bother dartbrow. Which reminds me... (kiss)

**Sanji**: OAO... (random arrow knocks him out)

**Takono**: SANJI! (takes him)

**Zoro**: If you say so... (looks back at him and snickers) (walks away)

**Sanji**: (wakes up) she hates me...

**Takono**: Oh don't worry. :) You still got me. (takes his hand)

**Sanji**: true... (looks down at a letter) I hope Sugarpie-chan still loves me...

* * *

**Sugarpie-Chan**

uwaaaaaaaa! *cries*

I'm so sorry! Rusty, Zoro-san!

could you...forgive me?

...

...

...Sanji-san? please never, ever, ever use a parfume you found out of nowhere! promise?

- who is the oldest of us? if Lolly-san and Takono-san is my sisters

- Zoro-san did you have romantic feelings for Kuina?

- Zoro-san...are you virgin?

- Sanji-san, I lost all kind of fangirlness and respect for you when you where an okama...but now that you are back to normal..*wraps my armes around his neck* I want that hug!

- If you had to choose between saving Nami-san and Robin-san and you could only save one of them...who would you choose?

- Zoro-san, Sanji-san how do you guys feel about the many NamixZoro fics?

- do you guys have a crush on someone? as in right now...

- If you would place yourself in a fairytale which on do you guys think you should be in?

- Zoro-san if YOU was a girl, then who would you...um...go after on the ship?

- Zoro-san, Sanji-san have you ever thought abour getting married?

hmmmm... I think that's it... I personally think that Lolly-san should be the oldest of us and Takana-san as the second oldest and me as the youngest... or we could be triplets?

that would be so cool~

ops... by Sanji-san, Zoro-san, Rusty...should I call you Rusty-san or just Rusty?

bye-bye~

* * *

**Sanji**: (bow) HAI.

1. Well I don't know about you two, but...

**Takono**: I JUST TURNED 16 TWO DAYS AGO! :) (happy dance)

2. I bet he did.

**Takono**: He totally did.

**Sanji**: yyyyyyyyyyup.

3. **Both**: (LAUGHING HYSTARICALLY) NO! XDDD

**Zoro**: I HEARD THAT! YES I AM! (vein pop)

**Both**: ... (LAUGHING HARDER) YES! XDDDDDD

4. Ohhhhhh C'MERE~! (hug, kiss)

**Takono**: (looks away) have fun, you two...

5. Well... if I could only save ONE... I'd save Nami san. Robin's strong enough to save herself. She could make arms come out like ropes... ah, Robin chwan...

**Takono**: Well what if it's kairoseki?

**Sanji**: Then Nami could follow us while i save Robin chwan... either way, they're safe. :)

6. **Takono**: Zoro texted me the answer. (voice impression) "Ehh. I don't mind."

**Sanji**: BAH! oAo

7. At the moment... (loving stare at Takono, then back at Sugarpie, and back and forth)

**Zoro**: (comes back) she fell asleep. I can answer questions now.

8. NOT SANJI.

**Sanji**: THANK GOD.

9. **Both**: ...

**Takono**: Not to each other!

**Zoro**: He can't handle commitment.

**Sanji**: PSH. Can so!

**Takono**: It's Takono... not Takana...

**Sanji**: Baiiiiii!

**Zoro**: (walks away) seeya.

* * *

**Murcielago Princess**

Hi! It's me again! Murcielago Princess aka Zoro's #1 fan girl! I have some comments about what you said.

1. For starters, you turning from boy to girl isn't such a dramatic change!

2. Of course water is their weakness! But that is because of the devil's fruit! What's your excuse for your weakness, besides being a total candy$$!

3. Like you could land a single hit on any of them! They would have you six feet under even before you realize that you're being attacked!

4. Zoro could have blond hair (total shot at you) and he would still look better than you!

5. Your nickname still sucks!

6. You don't need to go to the gym because you're fat. You need to go because you need muscles! You look like a stick figure! In fact, your new nickname is now Stick Boy!

7. The only way you could look like a mermaid is if the mermaid was half fish and half monkey!

By the way, I'm adding the list again just to remind you who's better than you!

1. Tie between Ace and Zoro.

(Because let's face it, there are both sexiness barely contained in their hot bodies. I could go on forever on how hot they are, but there is a 10000 character limit for reviews)

2. Luffy. (Not only is he hot, but he is also funny. Not to mention selfless.)

3. Aokiji (he is tall, tan, and totally sexy!)

4. Chopper (while he wouldn't qualify as hot, he is sooooooo adorable!)

Hope you're ready because here are more of my questions!

1. What's with you covering half your face with your hair? Is it because your face is horribly deformed? You know, that would probably help your appearance!

2. Do you that your bounty poster is a lot more accurate than you realize?

3. Do you know that I am hoping that the rest of the crew decides to leave you on that island?

4. I think you should change your nickname. It should be Prince of Retardia! It suits you better!

5. Do bounties go by how awesome the person is? I think they made a mistake on yours. It should be A LOT lower!

6. I still want Luffy on this show. And Aokiji . And Ace (how could I forget to ask for him last time! It must be your fault! Just being around you makes people temporary stupid!) And definitely Chopper!

7. Could you let Luffy, Aokiji, Zoro, Ace and Chopper beat you up because that would make me smile!

8. Do you think that Zoro and I would make a good couple?

9. You probably want to beat me up now, don't you? (laughs loudly) Bring it on, Stick boy!

Here are some questions for Zoro, if that weirdo Sanji hasn't scared him off yet!

1. I LOVE YOU! Why are you so hot and awesome?

2. How can you talk while you're holding your sword in your mouth?

3. Maybe you should give Sanji some advice on how to build up some muscle?

4. How do you feel that there are a lot of ZoroxSanji stories? It's really an insult because if you did flow that way, you could do so much better that stick boy!

5. Do you make fun of Sanji because your bounty is much, much higher than his? If you don't, then you probably should!

6. Have you realized by now that I am one of your adoring fan girls!

7. If you had to choose between save your swords from falling into a volcano or saving Sanji, which would you choose? (looks at his swords)

8. Could you please beat up Sanji!

(Breaks though the window) I LOVE YOU!(Hugs Zoro)Marry me Zoro!

* * *

**Takono**: NO MORE ZORO! AFTYGHAJXBN! ITS FREAKING ASK SANJI!

**Sanji**: (sigh) Oh well.

**Takono**: (pout)

1. It is to the fangirls who go away when they see me okamafied. D:

2. Well... I don't use weapons! I get sore once in a while!

3. **Takono**: LIES! (crosses arms)

4. **Both**: Blond Zoro... (laughing)

**Zoro**: KOKORO!

**Takono**: ...BAHAHHAHAAAAAAAA! (rolling on the floor laughing)

**Sanji**: (ends up in a fight with him)

5. WELL... Zoro smells.

6. Looks can be deceiving... wanna check? (wink)

**Takono**: (SHRIEK) O/O

7. **Both**: ...

**Sanji**: LIES. ALL LIES.

**Takono**: YEAH! T3T

1. **Takono**: YEAH? YEAH? WELL WHATS WITH YOUR TOTAL VERBAL BEATDOWN ON SANJI? HUH? HUH?

**Sanji**: (holds her back) Calm down...

**Takono**: LEMMEATHER! Dx (flail)

2. Pshhhhhh. Nahhh.

3. ...(kiss) HA! COMEBACK! :D

4. **Takono**: (mutter) I'm the princess of retardia then.

5. ...(longer kiss while she's tied down with kairoseki handcuffs and rope)

6. Nope!

7. How... (tilts her chin up, looks in her eyes with a rape face) do you mean...?

**Takono**: NEXT NEXT NEXTTTTTTTT!

**Zoro**: (far away) huh. (checks emails)

1. Genetics.

2. Magic.

3. More like dating advice. Or plastic surgeon recommendations.

4. (SHUDDER)

5. I should, shouldn't I?

6. (arms around her) maaaaaybe. :D

7. Well I don't HATE him... I just like bothering him. We're crew-mates anyway. If I let him die, Luffy'd kill me.

8. No need to ask. :D GWAH. o_o kay...

**Sanji**: ...GET THAT GUY OUT OF MY COLUMN...

**Takono**: I GOT A LETTERRRRRR!

* * *

**THE EVIL TAKONO**

O.O... (screams really loud) KOWAI! (hides behind Rokuu)

Rokuu: O.O Z-Zoro...?

Takono: SCARY! (shudder)

Rokuu: That was loud... and in my ear... o_o

Takono: !

Rokuu: (head hit wall) ok... i snapped out of it... (slaps her in the face) better)

Takono: (sniffle) uh-huh... (hugs sanji) AT FIRST THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY BUT LATER IT GOT REALLY REALLY CREEPY! And you owe me a pocky game! im not losing! (eyes sparkle, hearts fly) (look up the rules on google)

1. (hug) aww, I can't be scared of you forever! (kiss)

2. you dont remember ANYTHING while you were an okama? Being flashed and kissed and all that?

3. even I dont wear makeup... and im a girl...

4. (disgusted face) IM NOT MAKING BABIES WITH RUSTY AND ZORO.

Rokuu: You can have Rusty and Sanji! (sparkly eyes) Zoros mine!

Takono: uhh... (sweatdrop)

5. oh, so i shouldve been GAYER, you say? how so?

6. ugh! 34 layers of perfume? no wonder i cant breathe! (holds up a sponge) HOLD STILL! IM GIVING YOU A BATH WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!

Rokuu: (giggle) i think he's gonna enjoy it...

Takono: (blush) SHUT UP!

7. My french test... i did bad... :'(

8. You're a creepy okama.

9. (replaces his cigarette with a lollipop) im just gonna have to do something about these cigarettes... (stuffs his last pack in her bra) ;) cant get it!

Rokuu: yes he-

Takono: NO'ECANT!

10. Triplet buddy! (hugs Zoro)

11. (pocky still sticking out of her mouth, whimpering, sadder KITTEN eyes) (REALLY wants to play the pocky game with sanji)

12. you of all people would know if i was pregnant... (sweatdrop)

13. five... five more days.

14. Rokuu: oh?

Takono: (scream) THERES A BIG ONE STUCK IN MY SHIRT! (its a toy spider but he doesnt know that)

15. so hows it like in a dress? comfy? xD

to rusty: now YOU know what its like to be restricted because you dont want anyone looking up your skirt!

Rokuu: ive seen cook do it all the time to ya anyway!

Takono: O/O LIAR. (looks at sanjis face) on second thought... ah well. talk to you later, Sanji-kun! (kiss) and i promise i'll try to get axel to review for me through a letter! ^^ ja ne~!

* * *

**Sanji**: ._.

**Takono**: e_e

1. MELLORINEEEEE!

2. O_O THE OKAMAS KISSED ME?

**Takono**: no, the fangirls.

3. That just makes you PURE! :)

4. (Shudder) GOOD...

5. NOTHING! O_O

6. ...(nosebleed) go right ahead... e_e

**Takono**: ...

**Sponge**: IIIIIIIIII'M READY!

**Sanji**: O_O AHHHHHH!

7. Whaaaat? NO! You got a...

**Takono**: my recent one... AN 82! (spins around) WHOOOOOOO!

8. yes, i know...

9. (face turns beet-red) ...can _so_...

10. ...

**Zoro**: ...

**Takono**: triplet buddy. e_e

11. ready... GO! (goes, reaches her lips)

**Takono**: ...(gasps for air)

**Sanji**: I WIN! MY PRIZE! (pounce)

12. ...yes... i would...x3

13. til what?

14. I'LL GET IT! (stuffs hand in) O.O...

**Takono**: get it out... :(

**Sanji**: I'm trying to crush it first!

**Takono**: ...

15. o_o

**Takono**: YOU HAVE? O.O

**Sanji**: Ooh, birdie... (looks away)

_ONE MORE THING!_

_ Hey Zoro..._

_ Zoro: eh?_

_ Takono: kokoro..._

_ Zoro: PFFT..._

_ both: HADHAHHAHAHHA!_

**Sanji**: ...

* * *

**Topaz-chan**

Hi! Holy crap you scared me with that okama transformation! You guys need to lay off the okama questions, it's like saying beetlejuice three times, something bad'll happen. On with the questions!

For Sanji~

1. WTF is with that panda man with the heart nipples? If you look hard enough he was in the Baratie arc.

2. Do you like dessert better or regular food better?

3. I'm addicted to caffien and sugar. Is that bad?

4. I heard that you like girls due to a "strict upbringing". What the hell was Zeff teaching you?

5. So you're a natural blond? I like blonds~

6. I can dance the Hare Hare Yukai in Haruhi's bunny suit! It took three days for me to learn it, wanna see?

7. Can you teach me have to do a split? I've been in gymnastics for three years and I still can't T^T

8. I'm going skinny dipping later. Call me~

9. How do you feel about school uniforms? My skirt sucks!

LOVE YOU!

...Zoro (A face only my sister could love)

1. WHy does your sense of direction suck so bad? You couldn't fing your way out of a cardboard box with both ends open!

2. If I high-fived you It would probably send me through a wall right?

3. How do you lift those freaking weights you freaking X-men?

4. You do realize that if you or someone else has sometinhg stuck in or on something else (no pun intended) cutting off the offending appendage is perhaps the most batsh*t insane thing you could do right?

5. So, three swords, overly macho attitude, are you perhaps compensating for something you don't have? *Looks at Zoro's pants*

6. Type "Sanji" into the search engine and click images. Tell me what you see. Sanji don;t look at it, I actually threw up it's pretty bad.

7. You do realize you're probably certifiably insane right?

Bai Bai! And my sister isn't here today so ha!

YOU SUCK!

My cousin does piercings. She'll give Zoro a Prince Albert if he does anything to me. Look it up. Bite me.

LOVE YOU SANJI!

* * *

**Sanji**: Ohiyo, Topaz-chwaaaaan!

1. Eh? WHAT? (looks around)

2. Food. But I'd gladly share food with you~!

3. Not at all! Just don't have TOO much... o.o

4. He taught me to ignore the other chefs who were talking about it. I eavesdropped. A lot.

5. Yeeesh~I am! :3

6. YES.

7. sure... ^^

8.(blood spurts out) I WANT TO COMEEEEE!

9. (looks up it) just gre-(takono punches him) OW!

AISHITERUUU!

**Zoro**: hello.

**Sanji**: GTFO ALREADY! (veinpop)

1. that's a lie!

2. um... no... o.o

3. (smirk) practice.

4. hm... yeah... whats your point?

5. You wanna check if i have it?

**Takono**: (punch) ZORO!

6. ...

7. again... point?

You suck...

**Sanji**: BAI BAIIIIIIIIIII!

**Zoro**: you suck too.

**Sanji**: lies.

**Takono**: WINGED DEVIL GIRL! ^^

**Sanji**: Oh, would you look at the time...

**Takono**: (grabs his collar)

* * *

**Winged Devil Girl**

NEVER. DO. THAT. OKAMA. THING. AGAIN.

any idea what star sign you are?

why pink hearts and not red?

what was your initial reaction to a hater (female)?

* * *

**Sanji**: What, this? (spins, hugs Zoro) ZORO CHWAAAAAN!

**Zoro**: GET OFF ME, FREAK! (runs off)

**Sanji**: Aw yeah. XD

**Takono**: (giggle) ^^

**Sanji**: Star sign? o.o And I don't know, ask Oda. Reaction...? (smirk)

**Takono**: (crossing fingers) do it do it do it do it do it do ittttt...

**Sanji**: (hugs Axel, spins around and makes hearts fly) AXEL CHWAAAAAAAN! YOUR TOUGH LOVE IS SO CUUUUUUUUUUTEEEEEE! MELLORINEEEEEE!

**Takono**: ROTFLMFAO! XDD

**Sanji**: Hey. You ASKED for it. XD

* * *

**SadistTensai**

Hi

Well, i just want to tell u... first of all

Did u realize when u go all hearts, noodle dance, take a woman hand and shouting melorine! it could be taken as really, i mean REALLY SERIOUS SEXUAL HARASSMENT?

oh! and the question,

's the REASON of u smoking? I know, when u're still kid u want to prove that u're a grownup to Zeff. But now?

eggplant? Where'd that came from?

's Zoro to u? I mean, no shit okay? What's he really mean to u?

's ur fav drink? Do u know sometimes a drink reflect a personality?

5...Whatever u say about ur wanted poster,,, I agree with Oda-san. ALL of the other in the crew have weird quirks. U don't. Fine. Curly eyebrow(s). But that's it. I think Oda-san do it for personal enjoyment, eh? Making u somewhat 'SPECIAL'

That's it. No offense, okay?

* * *

(DON) S-S-SEXUAL HARRASSMENT? USO! I only treat ladies with UTTER RESPECT!

**Takono**: (KOFF)sometimes.

**Sanji**: eh?

**Takono**: looking over a wall in a private bath, shouting to the heavens that you want to be invisible so you can peek at women, and looking through a bathroom keyhole is NOT respect...

**Sanji**: ;A; WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?

1. Well I wanted to act like a man. But the truth of the matter is, some things are just too addictive.

2. That crap-geezer.

3. Zoro... Zoro... (ponder) Well he's an annoying idiot who always picks a fight with me.

**Takono**: how about saying something nice about him?

**Sanji**: that WAS me being nice.

**Takono**: ...

4. I don't drink too often, besides wine, so I can't really choose as of now...

5. "SPECIAL" my ass.

**Takono**: your butt isn't THAT special. (SHOT)

**Sanji**: Alriiiiiiiight. Seeya.

* * *

Hey, please don't roleplay in the review box. It's very annoying. -Takono

* * *

**dreamerlisa12**

HIIII SANJI & ZORO KUN! sanji i think your cute and all but i think zoro is wayyy cuter*kisses sanji on the cheek* hope you under stand that ok i ready now

1:how do u fell for zoro x sanji or luffy x sanji or zoro x luffy

2:why do u hit on evry girl u see

3:*holds zoro plushi*would u ever kiss zoro

4:how would u feel if luffy was on the show next

bye sanji and rusty kun and bye zoro san*holds zoro plushi tighter*

* * *

(pouty face) o-oi... OnQ

1. ZoroXSanji... F#$ NO!

**Takono**: language.

LuffyXSanji... just no.

ZoroXLuffy... sure. Go ahead. (the very many Zoro fangirls on the column give him a death glare) O.O... I mean, uhhhhhh...

2. I'm not committed... yet... :) (eyes all of his fangirls)

3. **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU**-(very many sound effect cartoon noises censor his very violent cursing) **NO.**

...gomen. o.o

4. Better than-(head turns to Zoro) SOMEONE ELSE... (head turns back) coming.

**Zoro**: oh go back to your kitchen.

baiiiiiiiiiiii! (waving)

* * *

**Zorofangirl1111**

It's me again,

ZORO IS THE SMEX! NO EXCEPTIONS!

the only reason you left the crew and went on the sea train in the franky arc to get an awesome wanted poster picture?

2. Do you find it funny that after all that work you went through you ended up with a crap poster?

you know the reasn that happened was because the photographor did'nt take off the lense cap?

zoro still ther because if he is, tell him I love him!

did you end up as the farmer hobo in the popipo mix you did with zoro?

did you do a popipo mix with zoro?

it because you like him? *evil smile*

8.I know you and the rest of the Mugiwaraboshis have a secret camera in the clock of the far right side of my room!Admit it!

9.I really wish I could send you one of those e-mails where you click it and then a fist comes out and punches you. Don't you wish they had those?

you enjoy singing the song RESPECT! with zoro and luffy, or did you just lose a bet?

you know that your curly brow channels all the circular energy in the universe and without your curly brow the world would be out of balance? Or at least thats what Odacchi-kun said.

you rather have isoseles triangle shaped poops or poops that change color depending on your mood?

you listen to the over one hour playlist of we are I have on my computer?

that if you did you could have a really big fridge with a lock that you see in your dreams?

you like pancakes?

you like waffles?

you like french toast?

look up do you like pancake on youtube.

mistletoe!

bad mistletoe's poisonous.

Bai bai!

* * *

**Sanji**: What's with all the haters today? TAT (sigh)

1. ...NEVER... SPEAK... OF... THAT... MONSTROSITY... TTATT (sulk)

2. I find it just as funny as a Zoro fangirl finds THIS-(holds up a picture of girl Zoro being very violated by a devil Sanji)-funny...

**Takono**: O.O THATS GOING TOO FAR.

3. NEXT.

4. **Zoro**: (SNOOOOOOORE)

**Sanji**: GET HIM OUT OF MY COLUMN!

**Takono**: (doodling on his face) hee!

5. The same reason theres a chibi Zoro drowning in the vegetable juice.

6. The same reason SasuNaru is popular. Fangirls.

7. NO.

8. O3O ... why would I do that?

9. ...

10. I enjoyed it. :D

11. (laughing) Cool! I'm powerful!

12. **Takono**: SAY COLOR CHANGING! COLOR CHANGING!

13. Nah, I'm good.

14. I'D WANT TO LOOK INTO TAKONO CHANS DREAMS! (hearts fly)

**Takono**: Go right ahead. I dream about my english teacher. XD

15. yes.

16. yes.

17. yes.

18. I think it's "do you like waffles"...

19. HAI! (grabs one)

20. It's fake. :D

Baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...

* * *

**Wisty**

Sugoi Sanji-kun! When did you get your own show! Kakoii! Anyway, my name is Wisty and it's a pleasure to meet you *Curtseys'*. I have a few questions to ask, if that's okay with you.

than cooking, did you ever want a different job occupation when you were younger?

much do you usually have to cook for Luffy to satisfy his very large appétit?

you had to choose, what would be your top 3 best adventures in the Grand Line so far?

That's all I can think of, so thank you for reading them! I like your show very much, and I will be cheering for you in hopes that you find 'All Blue'. Bye-bye for now!

* * *

Wisty-chan... do you realize... (on one knee, forms heart with hands) YOU'RE AMAZING! (hug) I LOVE YOU!

**Takono**: I think he got tired of flaming Zoro fangirls... :D

1. Gynecologist, chiropractor, physical doctor... (nosebleed)

2. ...(falls) (ghost flies out of mouth) that boy will be the death of me...

3. from least to greatest, Skypiea, Arabasta, and... (bluuuuuush) MERMAID KINGDOM!

BAIIIII! COME AGAIN!

**Takono**: d'aww. :)

* * *

**JediFanPadawan**

To Sanji,

Oi, I am Amanda and I just found this and haven't even read it all yet. I'll go back and do so later...Anyway, you are one of my favorite Straw Hats Sanji-kun, but(and I hope you do not get upset over this) so is Zoro-kun. To tell the truth, I haven't decided which of you I like better. *shrugs* You both have bad habits, but Zoro-kun would actually fight me if I challeneged him and you wouldn't cause you refuse to hit women. I have always been annoyed by people assuming I am weaker due to being a girl...was part of why I quit karate.

(Naomi: You're still a girl! Me: I'm 18(19 in a few months)! I'm an adult now, which means I'm a woman. Thank. You. Very. Much. Naomi: Then get a job already. Me: I'm working on it! *angry anime vein*)

Alright, sorry about that. Naomi seems to like pointing out my difficulty in getting a job. Anyways, on with the questions.

1. Got any tips for a cook in need of something that isn't too hard to not make too much of. I am the only one who eats my food(my mom is never home(always off with her boyfriend, bleh, I don't like him at all), my brother cooks his own and he hates me...seriously...). My grandma eats it too, but only when I cook for her(i.e. that week I spent at her house. she always taught me one of her recipes!) and I don't have anyone else I can cook for on any kind of regular basis(except I get to cook on rare occasions for my friends, but they live a good distance away from me:(), which makes me sad cause I like cooking. When I cook spaghetti it lasts for three days cause I am the only one eating and I dislike wasting food.(I just finished off my spaghetti I cooked three days ago XD)

2. Is it a bad thing to crave one's own food?

3. I hear your food is delicious. Is it really all that good? I've always wondered that for some reason...maybe it's just because I want to be a great cook and part of me is competitive.

4. Could we have a cooking match sometime?

5. If by some strange circumstance the world was turned upside down and Zoro was in a pink tutu, would you laugh really hard? I would just because it'd be hilarious!

(Naomi: Hey! That isn't nice! Me: Oh come on. You know you would laugh too. Naomi: Crap cook. Me: You like my food, marimo lover. Naomi: You like Zoro too. Me: I just decided that Sanji is better. He is the cook after all. Naomi: Swords can dice food. Me: Yeah, well you go over four weeks without food and then we'll see how much you favor those swords over food. Naomi: With swords I can catch food. Me: Yeah, but without cooking it, you can't eat it. *shoves Naomi away from the computer before the argument takes up all the screen space*)

Ugh, Naomi. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah.

6. Just to get a second person on my side on this; Swords or food?

(Naomi: No fair! Me: *shoves Naomi away...again*)

7. Why do you say 'mellorine' so much? Wiki says it's a cheap alternative to ice cream? That confuses me...

8. That whole okama thing was creepy(though I haven't read that part of the manga yet, I have read about it). How did you keep your sanity?

Ok, I think that is all of my quest...Nevermind, Naomi is insisting I ask you one for her.

9.(from Naomi) What's Zoro's favorite food?

(Me:*twitches* That's a question to ask Zoro not Sanji. Naomi: But I want to know! Me: Ugh, you're such a fan girl! Naomi: Aww, are you jealous that you don't have any to be all fangirly over? Me: *angry anime vein* Would you stop accusing me of jealousy! I'm not into that! Naomi: Oh really? *shoves a picture in front of her face* Me: *snatches picture* Stop it! Naomi: Your face is red. Me: Just shut up marimo lover! Naomi: Crap cook *loud crash is heard*)

Oi vey. Now I have to clean the kitchen again...Anyway, I better just hit the submit button before Naomi starts another fight on here. Ciao. ~Amanda

* * *

It's not that, it's just... um...

**Takono**: (spits a truth serum dart at him)

**Sanji**: If I beat the girl, girls get emotional. They usually take things seriously. Either they get really mad, or depressed, or hold a grudge. Usually they start to cry. And if the girl beat me, that would be kind of embarrassing-(COVERS MOUTH) O.O

Oh yes, you are a woman... (stares at her boobs)

**Takono**: what are you looking at?

**Sanji**: Her breasts-I MEAN boobs-I MEAN honkers- I MEAN HOOTERS! I-GAHH!

**Takono**: (laughing) XD

1. Hm... Cinnamon rolls, cake, omelette... (thinks) eh... fruit salad...?

**Takono**: yummy yummy! :3

2. That actually means you did a great job! (hug) mellorine! My little professional!

**Takono**: _YOUUUUR_ little professional?

3. Want to try? ;) (holds out the worlds GREATEST PASTA DISH)

4. Anytime you want! I'll warn you, I might win by a mi-(covers mouth) TAKONO!

**Takono**: (giggle) truth serum...

5. pff... GAHHAHAHHAHA! (already rolling on the floor laughing)

6. FOOD. Swords are only meant to destroy. Food can please, arouse... and kill from the INSIDE... (evil grin)

**Takono**: O.O (squeak) kowai...

7. Well, lets see... (runs fingers through her hair and smells it) desserts smell nice... (kiss) they taste nice... and... they're lovable... (looks in her eyes) You'd have to be crazy to hate them... (smile)

8. I knew that I could quit training and leave anytime I wanted to.

9. Onigiri.

Baiiiiiiiii!

* * *

That's it! BAI BAIIIIIII! ^^ Oh, and Rusty told me that until he's done being busy and whatnot, I have to update. MUHHHHH...

**Sanji**: It won't be so bad! I'LL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL ASSISTANT AT MY HAND! (heart eyes)

**Takono**: I guess it won't be SO bad... :3


	7. Seventh Night: Fangirls!

Hey there! We've got some explaining to do, don't we? (cough) So I don't really update as much as Rusty does... and I know how annoying that is. I also know that I'm not as good at this as he is, so bear with me.

Sanji: I CAN'T WAIT! (hearts fly)

Takono: He's not used to having a girl host. x3 hehe!

* * *

**Topaz-Chan**

Hi! It's Topaz-chan!

Questions for Sanji!

1. How come Zoro gets more shirtless scenes than you? I've only seen you with no shirt on three times in the whole series and one of those times was in the second movie for like 30 seconds

2. Will you take your shirt off for me please? I'll kiss you if you do!

3. Can we have a sleepover!

I ran out of questions, I couldn't really think of much. Sorry!

And just one thing for Zoro:

I read Ask Zoro. Zoro, you're a d*ck. That is all.

I'm not mean, I just don't like you. And yes I have a shirt that says that.

LOVE YOU SANJI!

* * *

**Sanji**: TOPAZ-CHWAAAAAAAAN! (spinning) MY FIRST WRITER TODAY! (hugs her and spins around)

1. **Takono**: QAQ I've only seen it once in the series... (that i remember.)

**Sanji**: The less frequently it happens... (smirk) the more special it is.

2.** Sanji**: (rips off shirt)

**Takono**: AH! (fall) (hearts fly)

3. (noses touch) would it be just us, dear?

It's okay, love! :D And I think he already knows that. XD

I LOVE YOU TOO! WRITE BACK!

**Takono**: You're such a ladies man...

* * *

**Zorofangirl1111**

HI!

Questions for Sanji

1. Watch this first .com/watchv=ctVmNbVu2KA&feature=related

so, do you agree?

2. Ass or boobs. And you can only pick one

3. Why is Alton Brown cooler than you dammit? Is it the glssses or the sciene or is it becaise I'm not fangirling over you? You answer that.

4. Haha! Your wanted poster is unrecognizable to the human eye. I showed it to a friend who is a hardcore One Piece fan and said "what the hell is that?" Then I told her it is Sanji. to which she replied "Damn that is the worst poster ever"

5. He didn't take off the lens cap XD

6. You want to become one with Russia da?

7. Do you like durian fruit? I do.

8. Tell Zoro that if he doesn't apologize for shunning me last chapter, I will make him watch the 4kids One Piece dub. Where he makes the chicken noises. Over and over and over...

you a superstar? With a big big house? And a big big car?

10. What would you do in a Lucid Dream?

For Zoro!

1. Hur dur dur dur

2. I dare you to do the Lucifer Dance by SHINee with a straight face. And you must pop and lock it.

3. Your a jerk. But I love you anyway.

P.S Stop cutting off the begging of my questions!

P.S.S You both suck. But I only forgive one of you. Take a wild freaking guess who.

* * *

Zorofangirl... ;_; you can have such tough love sometimes...

**Takono**: She doesn't... (facepalm) (sigh) I'll let you figure this out.

**Sanji**: 1. Broken link.

2. ...(chewing on shirt) DEMMIT!

**Takono**: heh! XD

3. ...

4. ...SH... be quiet... please... ;_;

5. ...(GROANN)

6. Er...

**Takono**: YES! (drool)

7. Never tried it.

8. (both of them) OH GOD NO!

**Zoro**: OK OK IM SORRY JUST NO 4KIDS!

**Takono**: 4kids isnt SO bad... its actually kind of funny!

**Sanji and Zoro**: ...(very very very very creepy angry odd glares)

**Takono**: O.O... what...?

10. You missed 9.

* * *

Idk when I started this chapter, but today is May 1, 2011, and OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD! OUO

**Sanji**: Yosh! Go Americans!

**Takono**: eUe...

**Sanji**: What?

**Takono  
**

**Hey.**

** I said in Ask Sanji 4 years ago…**

** 10. um i'm not ready for a kiss... so... no. kiss zoro. he's a fangirl. mostly the girl part.**

** You said in Ask Sanji…**

** 10) W-WHY? Tsk. I worked so hard making myself look cool, then I get rejected… (fixes necktie) KISS ZORO? If the world turns upside down, and when Osama-Bin-Laden is captured, I can kiss him… okay?**

** Bin Laden was captured and died today. Will you kiss Zoro? XD**

** 5-1-11.**

**Sanji**: ...

**Takono**: YOU NEVER LIED TO A WOMAN! e_e

**Sanji**: ...

**Takono**: YOU KEEP EVERY PROMISE TO A LADY! e_e

**Sanji**: ...

**Takono**: I'm never going to let you live this down. XD

**Rusty**: Hey, It's happened. Polar shifts going on in the world will get the World upside down, and Osama is dead, so chyeah! do it!

**Sanji**: ASDFRUSTEEEEEE! NOT YOU TOO!

**Takono**: DO IT!

**Rusty**: DO IT!

**Okama Zoro**: I'm waiting... (pucker) LOVER BOY!

**Sanji**: WHAT THE FU-AEHRGSAEHFJDGETTITOFFAMEEEEE! (flail)

* * *

**NoctisStella20 **

**Dear Sanji-san, **

** To be honest, this is my first time writing a letter to you and at first, I'm quite shy and I dunno what to ask for. I realized that despite your lewd actions and such, you're still a honorable warrior. To me, the part where you defeat Wanze using the combination of knives and your martial arts is the most amazing (and beautiful) scene that makes me respect you... *blush* **

** Anyway, here's my questions: **

** 1. Do you have a crush on someone when you're still in Baratie? **

** 2. I heard a very interesting news that the specific Devil Fruit that someone had already eaten may grow again if that person who ate the fruit died. If Absalom died, would you search your dream fruit? **

** 3. Which time do you favor? Day or night? **

** 4. Do you like smart girls or busty ones? **

** 5. Are you happy when you landed on Fishman Island? The female mermaids are my favorite but it disappoints me that there's no handsome merman around the island.**

** 6. If your crew gets a new crew member, would you prefer the person to be a boy or a girl? Why? I was also hoping for a female crew member.**

** Thank you for taking your time to read this formal letter. I wish you good luck on your dreams.**

GET THIS FREAKO OFFA ME AND I'LL PAY YOU IMMENSLY, NOCTIS-CHANN! AAAAAEDHFKADJCKXJA**!  
**

**Sanji**: It's okay, Noctis-Chwan... Takono was a shy one herself at first... (hugs them both) NOW SHES MY HOST!

**Takono**: FANFIC RU... actually, I like your hugs. XD (hugs them both) GROUP HUG!

**Sanji**: 1. err...

**Takono**: Welllllllll... you'd have to define "crush". Theres the kind where his heart throbs, and the kind where the thing thats throbbing is farther down south on a man.

**Sanji**: (BLUSH) TAKONO-CHAN! O.O

2. (NOSE GUSHES OUT BLOOD) ...the... ENDLESS... possibilities...

**Takono**: oMo... (holds down skirt) meep...

3. Nighttime's more my time. There's no mood like the kind only lit by two lit candles, two plates of gourmet food surrounded by a beautiful aroma, and two pairs of glittering eyes looking into each other... (hearts fly) ahh...

4. Busty girls are busty... (holds in bleeding) but a smart girl can figure out how to get a man without tricking him through his pen-

**Takono**: ISLAND!

5. NO COMPETITION-(stops for a second) ...I mean aww. (arm around her)

6. Female. The men make me so damned angry. I need a replacement. (searching body) BECAUSE I CANT FIND MY CIGARETTES! (sob)

Thank you, Noctis-Chwan! (hearts fly)

**Takono**: psst! psst! Kiss her! Kiss her!

**Sanji**: I was scared you were going to cut me off. OKAY! (kisses NC) MELLORINE!

* * *

**Sugarpie-chan**

**Sanji-san! are you okay? **

** ... I thought... I thought you... you *tears building up* **

** I thought you were gone forever! ;A;**

** *hug attack***

** Now... while I am hugging you like a koala who climbs a tree I will ask my questions~!**

** ...I'm glad you are back, Sanji-san~**

** ...actually I don't have many more questions to you... I'm happy you are back! *tightening hug***

** 1. where were you, Sanji-san? you were gone so, so, so long!**

** ...actually... that's all I wanted to know... I just... am worried... oh and... could you.. can I... can I... can I have a hug? I... I want a hug... not a hug I start, but a hug you would start *blush***

NO! NEVER! (kisses her) I wouldn't leave you...

**Takono**: Note: PLEASE NO NOTES OF JEALOUSY TO SANJI! I MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE DOING THAT AS A JOKE IN ASK SANJI AND I REGRET IT SO BADLY!

S**anji**: ...THAT WAS A **_JOKE_**? OAO

**Takono**: O.O... _**!**_ (HIDE)

1. Oh, so many things! I had to send unlimited messages to Rusty telling him to come back so i can KICK HIS ASS, then I was trying to work on some project that SOMEBODY... (coughluffycough) kept eating... and then Takono-chan needed help with school and I was so busy, I'm SO SORREE!

2. No. No hugs.

**Takono**: Oh now thats just mean.

**Sanji**: (ignores her and dips sugarpie-chan with his lips very very close) how about... something more original?

**Takono**: (heart skips a beat) O/O Woah... You sure know how to make a woman happy.

**Sanji**: (ignores her and looks through letters)

**Takono**: Sanji... what do you want me to say? I've apologized countless times and I REALLY DID MEAN THOSE APOLOGIES! (hug) PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEFORGIVEME! :'C

**Zoro**: When did this column become a soap opera?

**Takono**: Z-Zoro? (sniffle)

**Zoro**: NEVER. Make me an okama again.

**Takono**: OKAY! (makes him an okama again)

**Zoro**: I SAID NEVER DO THAT! (vein pop)

**Sanji**: I forgive you. XD

**Takono**: AW YEAH! (headbang) eUe

* * *

**Wisty**

**I'm so happy that your back! *Claps***

** I thought of some more questions for you if that's okay?**

** 1. Can you whistle? I don't know how to whistle, so if you know how, then could you teach me?**

** 2. If you were a part of the circus, what act would you be?**

** 3. If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? **

** That's all, thank you for answering my questions! I think you're really cool Sanji-kun! See you next time, bye-bye *waves***

(hugs her) Yorokonde! (hearts fly)

1. I dunno. (shrug)

**Takono**: I CAN ANSWER THAT! (makes her wear a sexy dress and wears one too)

**Sanji**: (Wolf whistle) (Covers mouth) Ehe... sorry.

2. I'd be the-

**Takono**: Male stripper?

**Sanji**: What? No, I'd-

**Takono**: Female stripper? :D (throws a wig on him)

**Sanji**: o.o...

3. 1. To have hot fangs.

2. To find the perfect woman.

3. MORE WISHES!

Okay, Ja Ne! Until next chapter!

**Takono**: (sigh) Shes pretty in a dress. I'm jealous.

* * *

**Winged Devil Girl**

***kicks him where it hurts until he doubles over, then takes a knife and carves a design into his arm* bad blonde. I warned you!**

**Sanji**: ...(writhing in pain)

**Takono**: AXEL! (pounces on her) ATTACK!

(CENSORED SCENE. IMAGINE PRETTY BUTTERFLIES AND NOT PUNCHES AND KICKS BEING THROWN AROUND.)

**Takono**: (fall) I'm dead. xMx

* * *

**JediFanPadawan **

**Truth serum dart? *chuckles a little evilly* It's important to tell truth after all.**

** Not all girls get emotional when they are beat. I know how to lose and maintain my dignity. Unless it's to my brother...cause he's a jerk win or lose and he gets all cocky and stuff and it drives me crazy.**

** 1. Mmm, cinnamon rolls. I haven't had those in a long long time. *has an expression one has when day dreaming about something really good***

** 2. *face gets a little red* Yay! I was worried there for a moment. Lol. **

** (Naomi: haha! Your face is red! Amanda: Point? Naomi: *doesn't answer, but is laughing evilly in a corner* Amanda: *raises eyebrow and then rolls her eyes* Girls... Naomi: You're a girl too. Amanda: ...shut up.)**

** 3. *looks at the pasta dish and stares at it in hunger for a moment* Mmm, that looks so good right now. I haven't eaten at all today. *takes the dish and takes a bite* Mmm, delicious! *finishes the plate in thirty seconds***

** (Naomi: You always eat so fast. You didn't used to eat that fast. Amanda: *shrugs* I didn't used to always be so hungry either. Naomi: True enough.)**

** 4. *laughs a little* You gotta love the truth serum. You probably would win, having more experience and a good teacher. My mom was just like, go cook and just left it to us to figure out. It was quite fun actually. My brother and I used to bicker about whether or not to follow the directions on the boxes of things, but it was like a friendly bickering.**

** (Naomi: I can't believe you two are getting along so well again. Amanda: Oh shut up. You might jinx it.)**

** 5. *laughing hard too* Zoro in a pink tutu would be even more hilarious than Dooku from Star Wars in a pink tutu...and that was quite funny. *snickers evilly***

** (Naomi: Oh, I remember that! *falls over laughing* Amanda: *laughing a lot again*)**

** 6. Yes, food is so much better.**

** (Naomi: *pouts* Amanda: Aw, cheer up Marimo-lover. Naomi: Crap cook.)**

** 7. *face gets really red* U-uh...w-well...**

** (Naomi: *begins chanting annoyingly* Ama-chan has a crush on Sanji! Amanda: *glares at Naomi face still really red* Quit teasing me for it! Marimo-lover! I don't see how you like Zoro-sama like that. Naomi: Well, at least I don't like a pervy crap-cook. Amanda: I'd rather like someone who doesn't sleep all day like a lazy couch potato, thank-you. Naomi: WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT ZORO-KUN! Amanda: WHAT DO YOU THINK? Naomi: Grrr! *tackles Amanda*)**

** *is too busy fighting with Naomi to respond to anything or even say bye***

Sanji: Herro!

1. (pulls some out) Want?

2. (blush) Yes, well... they are quite a pair! May I?

Takono: (facepalm)

3. I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT, PANDA-CHWAN! (swoon)

4. Yes, well no recipe is a mistake. It just depends on what tastes good! (thumbs up)

5. (Snicker) yesh...

6. YES IT IS. (hearts fly) NOW LETS EAT AND BE MERRY.

Takono: I ate it all... ehe...

7. Oh, It's okay... (deep kiss) I dont mind...

Er... bye? o.o

* * *

**OKAY! WE'RE ENDING THE CHAPTER HERE! PLEASE REVIEW! BAII!  
**


	8. Eighth Night: Short?

YA-HA-HA! Okay! LETS GO! (Turns on Wii) AHHH! LETS GO, SOUL RESINANCE!

**Sanji**: o.o... huh. She's really into it. Eh? Hey, we got more letters! One's kinda dusty OH MY GOD ITS AN UNANSWERED ONE. O.O

**Takono**: I'm winning! I finally got that stupid Medusa-WHATT?

* * *

**CanDoAnythingNow**

**Sanji-san? *is being waaaaaaaaaaay overly formal***

** Hi, I'm one of your newest fangirls. :D**

** I've got a a few random questions that I don't think pertain to anything. :/**

** 1. How do you get someone to stop being afraid of ovens? My sister refuses to go near ours, which doesn't help when I'm busy and the timer's going off...**

** 2. I've taken a bajillion cooking classes, and in each one-without fail-I wash dishes. Always. I never cook. Can you teach me to be a better cook, since I already know how to cook? Please? *puppy dog face***

** 3. That bit where you acted like an okama... please don't do that again. I was scared.**

** 4. Can I hug you?**

** 5. *thinks* Uhhh... what's your favorite thing to cook? XD**

** ...**

** I can't think of anything else. XD**

** Thanks for answering my questions! *waves bye***

Takono: Well that explains THIS letter.

**3: I reviewed... five reviews ago... and there's o response... but people after me were responded to... *goes to the emo corner***

** QUESTIONS THAT I THOUGHT OF RIGHT NOW:**

** What is your favorite color?**

** What is the average wingbeat of an unladen swallow?**

** How do you teach people to cook (none of my friends know how to cook...)?**

** /random time! :D**

** I used to be a Zoro fangirl, but I quit being a fangirl for a while... then I re-became a fangirl. xD**

** Here's a random thing that all my friends (and I on occasion...) say: Make pasta, not war! I'm the only one who can make pasta though...**

**Sanji**: I... am such... an IDIOT! (Head hit wall)

**Takono**: Naww... you're smart... :) You just do stupid things. Happens to all of us.

1. Well...

**Takono**: FIRE'S SCARY! O.O (hide)

**Sanji**: ...I don't think it's a fixable problem... but try electric stoves.

2. (takes her hand and kisses it) I would love to, very much!

3. Believe me. I was too.

4. Okay! (hug) Shiawase!

5. Hmm... I don't know. Mochi?

6. Blue!

7. ...(very stumped by this question)... ...fine weather we're having?

8. Well, allow me to demonstrate. (takes her hands and gently makes them make a cake) You have soft hands...

9. Cool! (to Zoro) TAKE THAT! HA!

**Zoro**: eh. I've got plenty.

10. What?

**Takono**: (curl pops out of hair) (Italian accent, traditional dress) Oh miss Can-do, lets-a make-a da pasta together! -U- It'll be fun and we'll be the best-a the friends! (gives her a dress too) Oh, so pretty!

**Sanji**: KAWAII! (hugs Can-do and spins around) AND HER HAIR SMELLS SO NICE! (hearts fly)

* * *

**SlicedBread1420 **

**Hey,you with the face. I don't have much time. **

** -Have you considered becoming a pedophile?**

**Takono**: Hey Sanji, got a face?

**Sanji**: I'm sure I do.

**Takono**: Letter for ya.

**Sanji**: 1. ...no comment...

**Takono**: Too late for that, Bread-o! XD

**Sanji**: ...

* * *

**NoctisStella20 **

**Dear Sanji,**

** You know... I wasn't expected the kiss at all. May I ask some questions too? **

** 1. I send you a box full of potato Korokke today to share with your crew members. I just hope Luffy or the others didn't ravenously finished it off first... **

** 2. Why do you find interest in woman? **

** 3. You see... I just moved in to a new country... and I feel so lonely here. I didn;t mean for you to come to me and make out but a comfortable words would be enough for me. **

** Thank you for answering my letters. You really are a funny, romantic person.**

**Sanji**: (hearts fly) SHE THINKS IM FUNNY AND ROMANTIC! (waves crash) SHIAWASEEEE!

1. I don't want to share. (pops chip in her mouth so half is sticking out) unless... (bites other half) you're a crewmember...

2. Well, for a couple of reasons. I'm not the only man in the world who thinks the most beautiful thing in the world is a woman. Nothing brings out its own beauty like a beautiful girl laughing, and her cures just bring out that exotic touch!

3. Ehh? I didn't make out with you... It was just a kiss! But okay... Takono chan has a friend who had to move to South America and she and her friends miss him very much, and wish him happiness. I wish all the same to you!

* * *

O-kayyyyyyyyy! Only... 3 at the moment... short chapter. But KEEP EM COMING!


	9. Ninth Night: Takono's farewell!

(throws a stuffed duck at Sanji) heeheeheeheeheehee! XD

**Sanji**: Oii... (a swarm of ducks avalanching him) ASDF!

* * *

**Mikan22**

**In chapter 5 of the first Ask Sanji, you said that you would kiss Zoro when the world turns upside down and Osama Bin Laden was captured. The world spins so it has turned upside down and OBL was captured so... KISS ZORO!**

**Sanji**: WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME TO KISS ZORO?

**Takono**: Cuz... (giggle) It'd be hawt. XD

**Osama**: ALL THIS OVER PHYSICS AND MY DEATH?

**Takono**: Go away! You're supposed to be dead!

**Zoro**: What's all this?

**Takono**: (pushes Sanji into Zoro and they kiss)

**Sanji and Zoro**: TAKONO! (veins pop)

**Takono**: Ah-ah! (waves next letter) Focus!

**Sanji**: HAI, TAKONO-SWAN! (salute)

**Zoro**: Moron. (walks away)

* * *

**CanDoAnythingNow**

**No, Sanji-san, you're not an idiot. D: I'm used to being overlooked, it's okay!**

** It is an electric stove. e_e So is it completely unfixable? D:**

** Yay! Thing is, I can make stuff (like a sandwich for my lunch), but if I try to get a piece of plastic wrap to put on it... *glares at plastic wrap***

** Blue's my favorite color too! *marvels at coincidence* Then my next favorite color is black, followed by brown. :D**

** D: You didn't get the reference... ah well. :P**

** Yeah, but my friends are the ones who don't know how to cook. *friends freak out* Maybe Chlo-Chlo-chan knows how to cook though... I've actually never asked her...**

** Yeah, but don't rub it in people's faces... D:**

** *stares at the dress* Last time I wore a dress was... Festival, that's right! *stares at the dress* Erm, no thanks? I think it'd kinda make me look... ya know.**

** And you get the reference~! :D**

** *yelps* Uh... S-Sanji-san... c-c-could you pl-please set me d-down? Sh-shite ku-kudasaide wa, S-Sanji-san?**

** ((translation of random Japanese: Please, Sanji-san?))**

OH CAN-DO-SWAN! I KNEW YOUD HAVE SOME FAITH IN MY GENIUS! (noodle dance)

1. If it's the fire she's scared of, that problem's already taken care of. If it's the heat itself, try giving her gloves, or thick clothes.

2. Try a plastic bag? (shrug) hehe... (pecks cheek)

3. I think my next favorite's got to be black as well! We have so much in common! (heart flies)

4. Sorry...

5. And if not, I CAN HELP BOTH OF YOU!

6. But you look so BEAUTIFULLLL!

7. (puts her down) sorry. :D

**Takono**: That was cute. :3

* * *

**tish246**

**HI Sanji-kuuuuuun~! *stares at shirless pic of sanji for an hour* *nosebleed* *fangirl squeal* **

** *looks up* oh, right! Eh-Hehe. **

** *couph* Ok on a more serious note I wanna ask you a few questions!**

** 1.*evil smirk* If you had to kiss any male member of the crew who would it be? *takes out tape recorder***

** you suddenly got changed into a girl would you still swoon over girls or would you swich to guys?)**

** let me think. *thinks for a moment* Oh! I know! What would you do if you walked into the kitchen and saw me fixing you dinner wearing a sex maid outfit?**

** 4.I like taking photographs, so you would you pose for me? *puppy dog eyes* I would love you forever if you do.**

** 5.I'm a chocoholic so would you pretty please make me something chocolate? *puppydog eyes***

** .com/watch?v=vP8rX_-Ev5I&feature=fvst What do you think of this video? I hate it.**

** 7. Can you teach me how to cook?**

** 8. Can I have a kiss?**

** Well that's all for now. Bye Bye Sanji-kwun! ( My remake of Chwan and Swan just for you!)**

Ahh the sweet sound of a fangirl's sigh...

**Takono**: (stares at those pics too) oUo ooh...

1. ...Luffy.

**Takono**: I guess kissing him would be like kissing a mix of every meat known to man. RIBS! (hearts)

2. Well if he was HOT...

**Takono**: KOFFNARCISSISTKOFF.

3. ...(VERY GUSHIOUS NOSEBLEED)... ...thank you god...

4. (modeling pose) hows this?

5. (makes a chocolate statue of her) DONE!

6. BURN IT! BURN THE SINFUL LIE! (flings it away)

7. YOROKONDE! (spinning)

8. YOROKONDEEEE! (kiss) SHIAWASE!

I'll see you later! (swooning)

**Takono**: GASP!

**Sanji**: What?

**Takono**: OMIGAWSH ITS-!

**Sanji**: It's...?

* * *

Mr. Pallanza

Hallo~

**This is Mr. Pallanza.**

** AKA Rusty.**

** I dropped my name Rusty, and well, I think I'll be back to be hosting Chapter 10 with you. So yeah. I've informed your co-hosts now. So while it's still chapter 9, please answeer my Qs. Thanks.**

** 1. You know my loyalty to One Piece has wavered since you went to Okama Island. What can you say about this?**

** 2. Don't worry, not that I hate you perpetually now. I still like drawing you, getting used to your inverted curly brow of today. Your say on this?**

** 3. Still with the ladies? or were you disobeying Rule Number One again?**

** 4. Anime girl you'd like to paired up with. OTHER than Nami or OP Girls.**

** 5. You look like... a cook from the manga "Working!" (The Co-hosts- check it out. resemblance is uncanny.)**

** 6. Well, Got none else to say. Keep your tie tied and suit sharp. and no harrassing the ladies.**

** I'll be with you on Chapter 10. To the reviewers here, Wait for it.**

**Mr. Pallanza OUT.**

**Both**: RUSTYY! (glomp)

**Takono**: I MISSED YOU NEON-KUNN!

**Sanji**: SAME HERE! IT JUST AINT THE SAME WITHOUT YA!

**Takono**: Hey. XD

**Sanji**: I still adore having a female host more...

**Takono**: HEE! (blush)

1. DAMN THAT ODA! (sniff)

2. I still think it's sexy. :'C

**Takono**: Me too... :'C

3. GASP! WHAT? ME? NEVER!

**Takono**: (ties a knot) loopholes, Rust...

4. Hmm... Akane Tendo or Blair the Cat...?

**Takono**: Oh SURE. Take the BIG BREASTED ones. (crosses arms)

**Sanji**: No, wait! I-

**Takono**: TOO LATE!

5. Woah! I do!

6. What? I never HARASS.

**Takono**: (slaps his hand away) Don't touch my skirt!

**Sanji**: What, howd that get there? (whistle) (nosebleed) strawberries...

* * *

HA-HAAA! RUSTY'S COMING BACK NEXT CHAPTER! STAY TUNED! x33

**Sanji**: I'm gonna miss you, Takono-chwann!

**Takono**: (KISS) Daijobu...


	10. Tenth Night: with Mr Pallanza

*Walks in*

**Mr. Pallanza (AKA Rusty): **Hallo~

**Sanji: **…YOU'VE BEEN GONE LONG, AND WHERE'S TAKII-CHYAAN?

**Mr. Pallanza: **I told your co-hosts last night I'll be taking over this Chapter. So I hope you don't mind. I kinda miss this thing too, you know.

**Sanji: **We-eell… welcome back then. Good to have you back! And what's your screen name doing as "Mr. Pallanza"? BRING IT BACK TO RUSTY.

**Mr. Pallanza**: Sorry. I dropped that name long ago, since I moved on and get a life, alright? Now enough about me, lets get this thing down.

**Sanji: **Your say. Alright! *hops onto chair* LETS STAART~~

**Mr. Pallanza: **yeah, yeah. Okay, first letter from tish246.

* * *

_**Hi Sanji-kun!**_

_**It's me agian!**_

_**And I got more questions!**_

_**1. I'm a Zoro fan too! Do you still love me? *sad puppy dog eyes***_

_**2. How many girls have you kissed? *glares* Or do you even know?**_

_**3. Can you teach me French? I hear it's the language of love. *wink**_

_**4. What do you think is the hottest outfit a girl could wear? *prepares to take notes***_

_**5. What would you do if I dyed my hair green? *evil smirk***_

_**6. What would you do if Nami and Robin suddenly turned into men? *Whistels innocently***_

_**Well that's all I got for now!**_

_**And arigato for the chocolate and the picture!**_

_**Bye bye! I'll miss you Sanji-kwun!**_

* * *

**Sanji: **TISH-CHAAAN~~ XDD

1. Zoro? Who's that? Of course I still do~ :3

2. I never got to kiss any LADY… they either reject me, hit me, or yell at me. *spins* BUT I STILL LOVE EM~~

**Mr. Pallanza: **you always do…

3. Bien sûr! En tout temps!

**Mr. Pallanza: **had to use a translator to translate that. All his mellorine-ing and that high pitch voice garbles everything he says.

**Sanji: **TAIS-TOI!

**Mr. Pallanza: **NEXT.

4. hm…. A SLIM BRA AND A WHALE TAIL~~~ *nosebleed

**Mr. Pallanza: **SHUT IT *karate-chops head*

5. I still love you~ *spins* *mumbles*

6. N…NOOOO! *catches head with both hands* NOOOOOOOOOOO!111!one

**Mr. Pallanza: **wow. That sure made him demented.

**Sanji: ***turns to Mr. Pallanza* T&UR^$#R%TU*&RGD

**Mr. Pallanza: **er… yes.

NYAAAAA~ TISH-CHYAAAAAAANN~~~~ WRITE AGAIN! I CAN GIVE YOU MORE CHOCOLATES AND PICTURES! JUST KEEP WRITING MEEEE~

**Mr. Pallanza: **You're welcome. ^^ Next random letter is from… Takono.

**Sanji: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRITING? YOU SHOULD BE HERE! *cries***

**Mr. Pallanza: **Get with it!

* * *

_**Ok. Got em.**_

_**1. (random slapping) WHAT DO THOSE BIG BREASTED GIRLS HAVE THAT I DONT ANYWAY? xCC**_

_**Rokuu: A big squishy chest?**_

_**Takono: (DEATH GLARE...)**_

_**2. Miss me? :)**_

_**3. You know... you should consider yourself lucky. I'm a guy chaser and my sister says all I think about is food, so... rawr. (grabs his tie)**_

_**4. Mes notes dans ma classe de francais sont tres mal! TTMTT TE M'AIDE S'IL VOUS PLAIT! JE NE VEUX PAS DES CLASSES DANS L'ETE! (cry)**_

_**5. Is it unusual that I have a crush on a teacher? oWo**_

_**6. Like my many smileys? 6U6**_

_**7. (random slapping again) PANTY PEEKER! WHAT ELSE DID YOU SEE?**_

_**8. Did you know the french word for shower is douche? XD (giggle) I know its terrible but its just too funny to pass up!**_

_**9. Are you a VIRGIN? O3O**_

_**10. Who was your first girlfriend? Including the VERY FIRST Ask Sanji Rusty hosted?**_

_**11. So in two years I'm supposed to be legal age for marriage... :3 (unlike ask sanji 1 where i was 12. XD)**_

_**12. hmm... (turns him into a girl) HA! :D oo. (poke) squishy.**_

_**13. yknow, i drew a girl you before. it was cute. :) and look up odas drawing of it! ./_cb20091204002604/onepiece/images/a/a1/Genderswaped_**_

* * *

1. *nurses chin* …chests..?

**Mr. Pallanza: **Way to go being too direct, Sanji. *expects more slaps*

2. D'aaaawww~~! **OF COURSE I MISS JOO~~ MY FAN GIRLS TOO~! ***waves wildly*

3. *hugs Takono's head* NYAAAA! I ALWAYS WANTED A MANEATER~~ *squeals fan-guy-like*

4. I'LL KICK THE ASS OF YOUR TEACHER WHO MADE IT DIFFICULT! *rage*

**Mr. Pallanza: ***on the floor* Hahahaha! I tried to translate what he said to English, and it went out like this: _"I'll kick your ass from your teacher which makes it difficult. * rage *"_

**Sanji: COLLIER SHOOOOOOOT! ***kicks*

**Mr. Pallanza: ***all bloody on the floor* Don't blame me… it was the translator…

5. YOU DO? … *thinks* I never had a crush on one… *Chef Zeff comes into mind* *chokes* BLEEEGHCOUGHCOUGH.

6. I DO LOVE EM~~ n_n

7.*nurses both cheeks* I didn't see anything but flowers!

8. I always thought Douche is… well… a method for cleaning crap…

**Mr. Pallanza: **So "douche bag" is "Bathtub bag?" O_o

9. YES I AM! *proudly, with arms raised*

**Mr. Pallanza: ***rolls eyes*

10. …First girlfriend…? Well… maybe… No.. It was…

**Mr. Pallanza: …**Infraction of Rule Number One.

**Sanji: ***sighs* yeah… it was my first girlfriend… *groans* WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SPOIL EVERYTHING?

**Mr. Pallanza: **To avoid Sanji Fan Girl War II. *smiles*

11. REALLYY! WILL YOU MARRY…

**Mr. Pallanza: **…Infraction of Rule Number One? No problem. It's always available.

**Sanji: ***glares*

**Mr. Pallanza: **What?

12. wh-what? *POOF* *gets poked* U-waaah~~ *squeals*

*POOF*

13. … No… Comment… but… I do look… pretty… *starting to like female self*

**Mr. Pallanza: **Hmm… not bad… but I think the Okama you is more dramatic…

**Sanji: ANCHI-MANNA-KICKU-COOORSSSSSS ***kick, whole place goes boom*

**Mr. Pallanza: ***beaten puffy* Tankf pow wriphing, Phaphono.

**Sanji: **NEXT ONE! *picks up letter* Wisty-chyaaan~

* * *

_**SANJI-KUN! Hi *waves***_

_**What is your biggest pet peeve?**_

_**Oh! And do you prefer tea or coffee? Or neither, that's okay too.**_

_**hmmm, I think that's all for now.**_

_**By the way, I thought you looked nice in pink, even if it was a dress. =D**_

_**Bye-bye! *Blows a kiss and waves***_

* * *

**Sanji: **Haaaaaiii! *squeals happily*

-Pet peeve? When people are talking loudly on the table when I'm around, and well, people opening the fridge and eating secretively.

-Coffee… Bitterness kicks, wakes you up.

**Mr. Pallanza**: Yeah. Sanji is bitter, no girl and all that…

**Sanji: ***kicks* Bitterness… KICKS.

That's all, Wisty-chan? PLEASE WRITE AGAIN! *flying kisses*

…P-pink… Dr-DRESS…

**Mr. Pallanza: **I told you it was more dramatic.

**Sanji: SHIIIEEE!**

Please write again, Wisty-chan! Mellorineee~~

**Mr. Pallanza: **Next up… Takono again.

* * *

_**I just remembered.**_

_**1. Does it bother you that I have MAJOR fangirlism on Soul Eater, Death the Kid, Death Scythe and Professor Stein? (starts singing "EXCALIBUR!")**_

_**2. Not to be a narcissist... but I make a pretty hot Zoro... yknow, from the shoulders up. XD**_

_**3. It doesn't bother you that you have to bend down SO far to kiss me? I'm only 5 feet and a half inch!**_

* * *

1. Who are those guys? Hmph… I'm still hotter.

**Mr. Pallanza: **They represent TODAY's Anime and Manga, Sanji. They're awesome. Speaking of Soul Eater… I do remember typing a crossover (between FFXII, Avatar: The Last Airbender, One Piece, Soul eater, Naruto and Fire Emblem) before. Now idk where that went…

**Sanji: ***compares* One Piece… August 4, 1997… Soul Eater… June 24, 2003… *negative* No… I can't believe this… I feel shame…

2. DON'T DO THAT, SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAPPEN! MOSS MIGHT GROW ALL OVER YOU! *shock*

3. I can kneel and kiss…

**Mr. Pallanza: **…Infraction of Rule Number One? How sweet~ :3

**Sanji: DIEE**

Write again, Takono-chan~! :3

**Mr. Pallanza: **Next up… Topaz-chan

**Sanji: TOPAAZZ-CHYAAN~**

* * *

_**HI!**_

_**Hooray for the updates! They make Danni, I mean Topaz-chan, happy!**_

_***glomps Sanji***_

_**Okay, now for the questions**_

_**1. If you were in a harem anime, what kinds of girls would you have in it, and which girl would you pick in the end?**_

_**2. Could you put on a nice pair of glasses and send me a picture? Guys with glasses are hot.**_

_** you have any advie on learning how to cook for me? I am one more attempt at cooking away from creating a mew species of life. It is that bad.**_

_**4. I go to a catholic all girls school so I'm having a ceremonial burning of the uniform at the beach in June with friends when school ends! Wanna come?**_

_**5. Could you have a cook off with Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji? I wanna see who wins (Fight on Sanji!)**_

_**6. Let's play the pocky game!**_

_**If you're there, hi Rusty! And feel free to discipline my sister Zorofangirl1111, we come from a family where we can take a hit so feel free.**_

_**Bye Sanji! *kisses goodbye***_

* * *

**Sanji: ***glomped* Thanks for writing! *squeals* Now to answer…

1. A HAREM! *happily fantasizes* Hm… I like the girls who… have… HAVE… HUGE…

**Mr. Pallanza: ***sideglance*

**Sanji: **…HEARTS! Yeah, Hearts! And the girl I'll pick in the end… well… But I just can't let the others go… It's against my nature…

2. *throws a camera at Mr. Pallanza* PICTURE ME! *wears glasses*

*click!*

**Mr. Pallanza: **Sent.

3. *shock* CREATING A NEW LIFE? THAT'S BAD! Experimenting in cooking is the best way to learn… BUT CREATING LIFE? *nauseous*

4. OF COURSE I WILL! I'LL HELP YOU GUYS BURN IT!

5. Who's that?

**Mr. Pallanza: **Well, a butler of Ciel Phantomhive. A demon butler apparently, and he's very good.

**Sanji: ***rolls up sleeve* Heh, I'll take him, anytime. *smirk*

6. REALLY? *cooks a one inch hotdog* Okay, ready! :3

**Mr. Pallanza: **THAT'S NOT A GAME ANYMORE.

**Mr. Pallanza: **Hm? Oh, It's alright. ^^ Good to hear you guys are formidable. Hi to you too. :3

**Sanji: **MELLORINE! WRITE AGAIN, TOPAZ CHYAAAN!

**Mr. Pallanza: **Next. Well I'll be… It's Zorofangirl1111

**Sanji: **I'll bend her ways, and it'll become Sanjifangirl6666! :D

**Mr. Pallanza: **what's with the 6's?

* * *

_**HII! I miss Zoro -3- bring him back!Anyways, questions:**_

_**1.I have a harem, and you are in ?**_

_** you ever worn a bra? (XDXDXDXD)**_

_** you have glasses, my sister likes glasses.**_

_** you were turned into a girl for any reason, would you be dissapointed if you had small boobs?**_

_** you be disturbed if I turned into a boy and was a mix between a shota and a bishonen? I wasn't.**_

_** you ever had a homoerotic dream? I know you have.;D *ahehehe***_

_**7.I don't want you to kiss Zoro! He belongs to me! o3o**_

_** you dress up in a maid costume and send it to me? I won't post it on the internet or anything (incredibly bad liar)**_

_** your door, I sent you a sexy red-headed visitor! (Grell from Kuroshitsuji. Suck on that!)**_

_** up Nyan-cat on youtube. Isn't it super cool and cute?**_

_** is your favorite channel on TV? I know it's the cooking channel, watching the pretty ladies cook.**_

_** doesn't take no for an answer! We WILL become one. * starts stroking hair* Just don't tell Belarus.**_

_**STOP CUTTING OFF THER BEGINNING OF MY QUESTIONS!**_

_**and bring back Zoro-kun, he didn't answer my questions.**_

_**Ja-ne!**_

_**Zorofangirl1111 | |**_

* * *

**Sanji: **Hallo! No I won't bring Zoro back! :D

**Mr. Pallanza: **and who says so?

1. Because I'M IRRESISTABLE! *takes of shirt, slowly*

**Mr. Pallanza: ***facepalm*

2. … *speechless*

**Mr. Pallanza: ***snicker* I wonder, does he really need a bra to hold his up?

**Sanji: MOUTON SHOT! ***kicks*

3. I DO! *wears them again*

4. Just as long as I have!

**Mr. Pallanza: **No bra? *rolls on the floor* buahahahaha

**Sanji: EXTURA HACHEEE! ***gattling kick*

5. No…comment…

**Mr. Pallanza: **Yep. He was.

6. ! I-I NEVER!

7. YES, HAVE HIM, HAAAVEE HIMMMM!

**Mr. Pallanza: **he just wants to get rid of the ill fated curse he had said on Ask Sanji back then. ^^

8. Reading the Liar Part, NEVER!

**Mr. Pallanza: **My pleasure! *e-mails*

**Sanji: JOOOO SHOOOOT! ***kicks both Mr. Pallanza and computer*

9. ..who's that?

**Mr. Pallanza: **Er… another guy from Kurshitsuji. Who is, well, in love with Sebastian, who was mentioned earlier.

**Sanji: ***slams door* A Weird guy AND a Bishounen. NO.

10. Oh, yes! It is! :3

**Mr. Pallanza: ***deliriously ill* …WHAT…? NYAN… CAT? *ears popped, blood spurting out* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Sanji: **I don't need to kick you now. Hehe!

11. NO OF COURSE NOT!

**Mr. Pallanza: **Fashion TV. Midnight Hot segment.

**Sanji: NYAAAAAAAAAAAN!**

**Mr. Pallanza: **Coming from you, it sounds out. So It's okay.

12. We will become one? What?

**Mr. Pallanza: **I forgot that anime.. but it was something about… ah yes! Axis Powers Hetalia, something…

**Mr. Pallanza: **Me? I'd never. And about Zoro, I'll see what Sanji's Co-hosts will say to that. Sanji has no power to decide.

**Sanji: NO FAIR!**

**Mr. Pallanza: **Yes, fair. Thanks for writing, Zorofangirl1111!

* * *

**Mr. Pallanza: **I'll have to admit, I miss this sort of thing! Too bad I've been very busy… After a year more, I'll be graduating college, so please wait for my full form to come back to life!

**Sanji: **Yeah, yeah. Whatever. It's good to have you back, anyway.

**Mr. Pallanza: **Thanks. I'll be back, I don't know when. So yes, thanks for having me in the show, and, review again! Ja~

**Sanji: **PLEASE WRITE!


End file.
